Thots of a Yoruba girl living in America

2011-11-11T08:03:00.000-08:00

Happy Friday

11/11/11 - That has a weirdish ring to it. Just thinking about that when I woke up this morning.

I really wanted to start blogging again in September. Work has been a whirlwind for the last few months so each day I want to write a blog post, it just never happens. Thanks Anonymous and Fashionista for the shout out :)

So many life changing events have happened in my life over the last 3 years. I've moved to 2 different states, changed jobs twice, moved houses 4 times. My marriage did not work out, and it ended up in divorce. There is so much to tell and still trying to figure out where to start from. Eventually, I hope someone out there will learn a thing or two from my experience.

Wishing you all a happy Friday and great weekend!

Peace and love.

2011-09-15T11:18:00.000-07:00

I can't believe it's been over 3 years since my last blog post. Time truly flies!

My life has changed so much in the past 3 years. Just wanted to check in with fellow bloggers and see how you are all doing.

2008-05-08T10:44:00.000-07:00

I thank God for my life. For family, for friends, for everything. I place my life in God's hands and I know that he will take control.

2007-03-07T09:55:00.000-08:00

Happy new year everyone (in March..ain't that something). I'm grateful to everyone who asked after me and wondered how I was doing...thanks for your love my people.

I know it's been a hot minute since I've posted anything. It's been crazzzyyy bussssy for me this year, it just never stops guys.

First off, yours truly witnessed her first Corporate America layoff. It's really sad seeing people that I work with so scared for their livelihood.

So much stuff to blog about, don't even know where to start....:P My fiance and I are planning a small wedding next month in April, we are thinking of going to the courthouse with 2 witnesses and later having a small party at home on the following weekend for our closest friends and family. I am so excited to be beginning our lives together as a married couple.

Will try to be back blogging regularly soon, just wanted to check in and say thanks for missing me. I missed you all too and I love you all.

2006-12-24T13:45:00.000-08:00

Happy Holidays

Whew...it's been a busy couple of weeks for me. Tons of deadlines and trying to complete projects for the year. I wasn't so sure I could come through at one point, but I did. Now it's time to hunker down and rest a little. Time to get ready for a new year with bigger and better things, by God's grace. I have so much to thank God for this year, it's simply amazing.

Going off on a tangent now and this is sorta random but...since I woke up this morning, I have been craving Cerelac...(shhh...don't tell anyone)....lol

Thanks to you all who have accompanied me on my short blogging adventure. It's been fun for me, i think there'll be a lot more to blog about in the coming months.

I did find a tenant outside of those 3 that I earlier posted about. They are an engaged couple with steady jobs and great references. So that's settled for now :)

I'm on vacation for the next week and my treat this year is to finally watch a Detroit Pistons game LIVE with CLUB-LEVEL seats!!! So my fiance and I will be flying down to the D next week, watching the game and flying back the next day. I'm so excited you can't even imagine...!!!!

Merry Christmas everyone and a happy new year in advance.

Peace and luv :)

2006-12-11T11:45:00.000-08:00

The Tenant Situation...Updates

What a weekend. Boo and I had a quarrel. So from being called an idiot who doesn't think (maybe I'll blog about that later) to just tuning out and spending time by myself and enjoying some "me" time.

In my "me" time adventures, I even finally got on board with the Desperate Housewives craze. I rented the first 2 DVDs of season 2...and I'm now addicted. Had to go back to get the next 3 DVDs.

Updates on the tenant scenario...all the 3 from my previous post have been disqualified. In fact, Jane Doe* sent me the following email:

Hi Omo Ibadan*,
Yes I had a good weekend, hope yours was great as well. I'm glad you emailed me, as I was going to contact you this evening regarding your property. You know I was a little concerned about being slow with this new store, and I wouldn't want to be in a situation that I was struggling or not able to meet the financial obligation.

You have been very nice and I've enjoyed meeting you, so if you have another person you can definitely rent to right now, please do. If things happen to work out in the near future, and it is available, that would be great. Thank you again.

Warm Regards,
Jane Doe*

So folks looks like your girl is back to square one. I've just reposted another ad on Craigslist yesterday (2 replies so far, we'll see how those pan out). My fingers are crossed. Please pray for me y'all....

I'm off to my department Christmas party in 10 mins featuring some whirly ball...dunno what that is but I'll find out soon enough.

Peace and luv

2006-12-08T07:37:00.000-08:00

Craigslist works wonders and I ponder on my tenant choices...

Due to my upcoming wedding and upcoming move at the end of the month to my fiance's home, I have been unwittingly thrust into the path of becoming a landlady. Not that I'm complaining though...:)

SoI finally stopped procrastinating and posted up an ad for tenants for my property on craigslist about 2 weeks ago. The response was MAAAD oh, as in literally within minutes, i was bombarded with numerous calls from people who wanted a showing.

Now I'm at the difficult part, i.e. trying to somehow figure out which of the prospective tenants would be most dependable with their rent payments, wouldn't trash the place etc. Also, my preference was originally no-smoking and no-pets, but I decided that I could be a little flexible on the pets, depending on the kind and number. So the 3 candidates that have come to view the property are as follows (excluding other candidates who have called):

1) Mr. & Mrs. Doe*: They set up an appointment and showed up minutes late. White couple....looked like they were in their thirties. I had dealt with the wife via email and on the phone, so she brought her husband along for the showing. They said they ran a retail store and currently lived in a luxury apartment. So they were looking to move due to the proximity.
What struck me was the look of discomfort on their face when they realized I was the owner. The man was like : So we know you're showing the place for the owner but we would really like to speak to the owner about lease terms and things. I chuckled inwardly. Wife is looking at me with a quizzical look on her brow...like well, when can you arrange the visit (duuh)? So I politely affirmed that I was the owner. By then I was seething inwardly, yet managed to remain calm on the outside. Anyway, let's just say the remainder of the time spent in showing them around was done in order not to be rude. I already have issues with these candidates...somewhat. And they had the audacity to tell me they had 2 huge cats (lol), but oh not to worry, they are well-trained...hmmph. These are probably the most-qualified financial candidates...but their behavior leaves a lot to be desired...

2) Lady XY*: We talked on the phone and she made an appointment to come and see the place. However, she calls me the next day (2 days before our appointment) and it turns out that some vouchers were expiring so she needed the place ASAP. I'm not an expert on the American social welfare system, so I was already like wooah...ok? I'm thinking in my head now, wetin be vouchers?? This candidate has no pets and a 4 yr old child. Apparently, she's using her child to obtain the housing aid benefits offered under the Section 8 welfare program. Therefore, 2/3 of her rent would be paid by the government directly to me, while she would be responsible for the remainder and her utility bill. Anyway, I was still thinking so I agreed to still show her the property. Lady XY had an accent and an "interesting" name so I already thought she was black. My stereotype was dispeled because she actually turned out to be white. I was so surprised it wasn't funny. She was not exactly friendly and just quickly looked through the place and said she would take it. She dropped off the Section 8 Forms for me to schedule a property inspection if I wanted to rent to her.
Cons: Under this program, you can't charge a security deposit to the Tenant, so there's really no safeguard if they trash your property.
Although some landlords like the security of getting their paycheck from the goverment promptly, so they prefer Section 8 Tenants. However, there are also the cases where the tenants are unable to pay the 1/3 payment, even with the substantial help from the government.

3) Jane Doe*: Probably the friendliest one who came by. She's a single mom of 2 who adopted a deaf cat. Her kids are in their early teens She was really friendly, she works in the spa business. We got into a long conversation about the housing markets, effects of a perceived "bubble" and all that good stuff. The long and short of it was that I felt more comfortable with her.
So I sent her the lease agreement first, and then she calls me asking if I could break down the one-month rent security deposit into payments. She said that she just started working at a new place and business was going slow. Apparently her pay depends on how many clients visit the spa...so with the slow client influx and all the moving expenses, she couldn't pay the security deposit in one payment. I can certainly understand that...and seeing as I'm already biased toward Jane Doe*, I could definitely make that happen.

The only thing though is that the logical side of me is not sure whether I really want to be saddled with a tenant whose paycheck is going to be directly tied to her number of clients. I called her to discuss this issue today, and she explained that it was only temprorary, and she already has plans to get a second job if not. Oh well.

I'm all for giving others a break, because God knows I've been given incredible breaks in my life.
What do you guys think?

peace and luv

PS: Mel Gibson's Apocalypto comes out in theatres today..I've been looking forward to seeing that movie since forever. Can't wait to go see it!!!! Today is probably unlikely since I plan on stopping by a "co-ed bachelor party" for a friend...we'll see what that brings seeing as the list of events includes Biology at 11pm...lol

2006-12-07T09:31:00.000-08:00

It's NOT My Job....!!!! Illustrated in Pictures :P

Received this from a friend and thought I'd share. It certainly made me chuckle...:) Hope everyone is having a great week. It's really busy for me at work, that's why I haven't had time to post up anything for a while. Will be back very soon.

Peace and luv

2006-11-28T10:16:00.000-08:00

Winter/Snow Chaos in Seattle....MADNESS SUPREME!

Ok, you guys are probably like whatever...but you have to understand though when it snows in Seattle, there is utter chaos! A complete mental shutdown on the part of drivers. Although I've seen record inches of snow in Michigan, the system there is definitely more robust to clearing snow in inclement weather. Seattle is pretty much a rain city, and significant snowing is very rare. So you can just imagine the level of chaos when the snow started yesterday evening.

It was just absolutely ridiculous last night...people literally did not know how to manuever their cars. Therefore, they just parked their cars in the middle of road and walked away! Can you imagine?! There was even a point where some people just went to bed in the middle of the road, i don't blame them sha.

Yours truly lives only a mere 5 miles from work, so under normal conditions using the back roads, I'm home under 10 minutes. Yet although I left work early at 4pm on Monday when the first flurries of snow started, I didn't get home till about 8:30ish. To add insult to injury, my car couldn't make it up the hill to my place! So I had to wait for a good 2 hours in the middle of the right lane near my complex, for my fiance to arrive to help maneuver my car to the road side! At least my situation was slightly better, a co-worker who lives quite a bit away, spent 5 hours on the freeway just getting from one exit to the next. At around 10pm, he gave up and just got off the exit and slept overnight in a motel.

The next day which was Tuesday, most people didn't even show up to work including my boss. I was so pissed that I even bothered coming, but since I'm relatively new, I just felt like I should go in anyway. My fiance dropped me off at work and thankfully I got a ride back home from a co-worker. So since Tuesday, a good Samaritan at work has been giving me a ride to and from work daily. She leaves home really early though, so she's at my house at 6:10 am each day, but since na condition make crayfish bend, I have to suck up the earlier hours.

Weather forecasts are now predicting the worst is over, and showers of rain should be expected. Hopefully that dissolves the snow/slush so I can get my car from down the road. I'm currently experiencing withdrawal symptoms from not being able to look at my car from the kitchen...(sigh)...oh well.

I'm really just praying for lots of rain so that the black ice dissolves. I'm too inexperienced with snow driving to feel confident enough venturing out on black ice....

Any tips or snow stories to share anyone?

Peace and luv....

2006-11-21T11:36:00.000-08:00

HOOPZ TRIVIA ...

Howdy do....I'm back!!!lol...yeah right...like anyone even noticed I was gone. I haven't posted as usual because it's been a busy weekend/week for me because of the short week (we get Thurs and Fri off because of the thanksgiving break). So I'm basically trying to finish up my projects by tommorow.
It's been kinda stressful but I wanted to take a break and make a little game about one of things I love the most....Basketball! Post your answers in the comments section below...have fun and try not to cheat too much!

Let's modify the game to become a mix and match. Below are the answers....Hint: Some names are used twice as answers.

a) Shaquille O'Neal b) Kobe Bryant c) Allen Iverson d) Micheal Olowokandi 4) Richard "Rip" Hamilton e) Hakeem Olajuwon f) Chauncey Billups g) Manute Bol h) Rasheed "Sheed" Wallace i) Chauncey "Big Shot" Billups i)Dwyane Wade j) Magic Johnson k) Wilt Chamberlain l)Michael Jordan m) Tim Duncan

1) What NBA 9 year veteran player was traded to 5 different teams in his first 5 years (including the Toronto Raptors) playing in the NBA? Hint: He was drafted third overall

2) What 1st round 2003 draft pick has a son named Zaire? Hint: Is one of only four active players who have won the Finals MVP trophy

3) Follow-up to #2: Who are the ONLY four currently active players who have won the NBA Finals MVP trophy? Hint: No hint..lol

4) Who is the only NBA star to date who was awarded the NCAA Tournament Most Outstanding Player while playing at UConn, and has also won an NBA Championship title? Hint: Registered a career-high 44 points against the Cleveland Cavaliers in 2003

5) What now deceased NBA legend claimed to have slept with more than 20,000 women in his lifetime? Hint: c'mon now, do you really need a hint on this one...lol

6) What NBA star is credited with the trademark crossover dribble? Hint: One of the NBA players with 60 or more points in a game

7) What NBA player is arguably one of the biggest dissapointments to Nigerians in history? Hint: He's a center and he doesn't really claim Nigeria anyway, he says he's British...lol

8) What African former NBA player killed a lion with his spear at age 15 while it was sleeping? Hint: Arguably one of the tallest players (rank top 2-3) to have ever played in the NBA

9) What NBA player on Nov 17, 2006 became the youngest player in NBA history to reach 17,000 points? Hint: $4 million 8 carat purple diamond ring as adultery compensation anyone? lol...

10) What former NBA star remains the only player in NBA history to have won the MVP, Finals MVP and Defensive Player of the Year awards in the same season? Hint: Do I hear a dream shake somebody...:)

11) What perennial NBA All-Star Defensive team candidate power forward renowned for his post presence leads the NBA in technical fouls? Hint: He was this season's (2006-07) first victim for the leagues new "zero-tolerance" regarding disputes with referees

12) What retired NBA player is the all-time leader in points per game? Hint: Game heroics credited to his name include "The Shot" and " Flu Game"

Will post up answers in a few days. Till then...everyone with Basketball know-how, please participate and post your answers up :)

Update...AND THE WINNER OF THE HOOPZ TRIVIA CONTEST IS IKE E. (I owe you a present)

1 - Chauncey Billups
2 - D-Wade
3 - Shaq O'Neal, Dwyane Wade, Chauncey Billups, Tim Duncan
4 - RIP Hamilton
5 - Wilt Chamberlain
6 - Allen Iverson
7 - Michael Olowokandi
8 - Manute Bol
9 - Kobe Bryant
10 - Hakeem Olajuwon
11 - Rasheed Wallace
12 - Michael Jordan

Peace and luv

2006-11-17T12:06:00.000-08:00

Words to live by...

As we grow up, we learn that even the one person that wasn't supposed to ever let you down probably will. You will have your heart broken probably more than once and it's harder every time. You'll break hearts too, so remember how it felt when yours was broken. You'll fight with your best friend. You'll blame a new love for things an old one did. You’ll cry because time is passing too fast, and you'll eventually lose someone you love.

So take too many pictures, laugh too much, and love like you've never been hurt because every sixty seconds you spend upset is a minute of happiness you'll never get back. Don't be afraid that your life will end, be afraid that it will never begin. ~Anonymous~

Happy weekend everyone.

Peace and luv

2006-11-13T12:22:00.000-08:00

Borat: Cultural Learnings of America for Make Benefit Glorious Nation of Kazakhstan

I'm still reeling in laughter from this movie, my fiance and I went to see it this weekend. If you haven't seen it yet...please go see it. There are many lessons to be learnt in this satirical "mockumentary" (mock documentary)...

For those who have seen it, what are your thoughts on the movie??? Please share :)

Reactions by the film's participants (Source: wikipedia.com)
Though the producers required participants to fill out long release forms, several have sought legal action, claiming that they were tricked into taking part.
The villagers of Glod, Dâmboviţa County, Romania claimed that the producers lied to them about the nature of the filming and were angered that they were portrayed as incestuous and ignorant. They claimed they were paid only three pounds each.
Two now-former University of South Carolina students who appeared in the movie have sued the film's producers, claiming that their comments that appeared in the film have caused defamation of their characters. David Corcoran, one of the Chi Psi fraternity members appearing in the film, discovered he had been duped when one of his fraternity brothers searched for Borat on the Internet. According to Corcoran, "my first thought was, 'What if my mom finds out?'" Corcoran and the other two fraternity members in the film have since left the fraternity and the university.

In an article published in The Clarion-Ledger, a lawyer contacted on July 12, 2005 by a WAPT news producer soon after Borat's appearance on that station, provided her own reaction and the reactions of those involved in a scene of the film where Borat is on the set of their program:
The WAPT segment in the movie is funny, mostly because Brad McMullan, the morning anchor, and meteorologist Ken Johnson don't rise to the bait. "My first thought was this guy is not normal. But I didn't want to be disrespectful. I was told before the interview that Borat was making a foreign documentary. I didn't want the Kazakhstan people to get a bad impression of America or Mississippi. We live in a wonderful country and wonderful state," he said. "When I heard them (Cohen and Davitian) talking crazy, I knew something was up," said WAPT floor director Alton Palmore. They were trying to hand out $50 bills like candy to get releases signed, he said. "It humbled us," said WAPT general manager Stuart Kellogg. "But I thought our people handled it extremely well.

After the movie's release, Dharma Arthur, a news producer for WAPT, wrote a letter to Newsweek saying that Borat's appearance had led to her losing her job. She wrote: "“Because of him, my boss lost faith in my abilities and second-guessed everything I did thereafter...How upsetting that a man who leaves so much harm in his path is lauded as a comedic genius.” She claims to have checked a public relations website that Borat's producers gave her before booking him.

In January 2005 coverage of the filming of the rodeo scene, Bobby Rowe, producer of the Salem, Virginia rodeo depicted in the movie, provided background on how he had become the victim of a hoax. He told The Roanoke Times that "months" prior to the appearance, he had been approached by someone from "One America, a California-based film company that was reportedly doing a documentary on a Russian immigrant"; he agreed to permit the "immigrant" to sing the [U.S.] national anthem after listening to a tape. After the film's release, Rowe said "Some people come up and say, 'Hey, you made the big time'; I've made the big time, but not in the way I want it."

The reactions of etiquette expert Cindy Streit of Birmingham, Alabama and Republican fund-raiser Sarah Moseley were published in an article from The Birmingham News. Prior to Borat's visit, Streit thought it would be a "wonderful opportunity to display some of our positive strengths. I'm proud to be an American, so I wanted to show this man our gracious Southern hospitality."; instead, the visit became "the dinner party from hell." Moseley said "he insulted all of us, but we sat there and took it because we thought we were really going to make a difference. So we were angry when we found out that we had been duped."

By potential participants
John Newkirk, a surgeon from Columbia, South Carolina was interviewed for 45 minutes by Borat about plastic surgery. Although the scene didn't appear in the film, Newkirk told The State about the experience. "It was the most bizarre conversation I’ve had in my whole life. He [said Borat] wanted a pot belly because in his country that was a sign of wealth." Newkirk was also asked about breast augmentation and penis enlargement, topics that caused Newkirk to suspect he was being goaded into saying something ridiculous. In spite of that, Newkirk never guessed that Borat wasn’t genuine, saying "The guy is good."

By Kazakhstan
In 2005, following Borat's appearance at the MTV Movie Awards, the country's Foreign Ministry threatened to sue Sacha Baron Cohen, while Borat's Kazakh-based website, www.borat.kz, was taken down. In September 2006 the Kazakh President Nazarbayev visited US President George Bush for talks, with Kazakhstan's post-Borat international image among the items on the agenda. Kazakhstan also launched a multi-million dollar "Heart of Eurasia" campaign to counter the Borat effect, which Baron Cohen promptly took advantage of by denouncing the campaign at a press conference in front of the White House as the propaganda of the "evil nitwits" of Uzbekistan.

Kazakhstan has not, however, banned the film, having merely urged that it not be distributed. 20th Century Fox's distribution subsidiary in the region, Gemini Films, has agreed not to show it there.

2006-11-10T13:32:00.000-08:00

Eliminate forms of Affirmative Action...and it passes in Michigan

What is Proposal 2?
(the ballot wording reads thus):
A PROPOSAL TO AMEND THE STATE CONSTITUTION TO BAN AFFIRMATIVE ACTION PROGRAMS THAT GIVE PREFERENTIAL TREATMENT TO GROUPS OR INDIVIDUALS BASED ON THEIR RACE, GENDER, COLOR, ETHNICITY OR NATIONAL ORIGIN FOR PUBLIC EMPLOYMENT, EDUCATION OR CONTRACTING PURPOSES

The proposed constitutional amendment would:
• Ban public institutions from using affirmative action programs that give preferential treatment to groups or individuals based on their race, gender, color, ethnicity or national origin for public employment, education or contracting purposes. Public institutions affected by the proposal include state government, local governments, public colleges and universities, community colleges and school districts.
• Prohibit public institutions from discriminating against groups or individuals due to their gender, ethnicity, race, color or national origin. (A separate provision of the state constitution already prohibits discrimination based on the basis of race, color or national origin.)

Michigan Voters OK Ban of Some Affirmative Action Programs
Wednesday, November 08, 2006

DETROIT — Michigan voters decided Tuesday that race and gender should not be factors in deciding who gets into public universities or who gets hired for government work.
By approving Proposal 2, Michigan becomes the third state in the past decade — joining California and Washington — to ban some types of affirmative action programs.

With 70 percent of precincts reporting, 58 percent, or 1,418,982 people voted "yes" on Proposal 2, and 42 percent, or 1,010,196 voters, were opposed.
"What it all comes down to is Michigan doesn't want to judge people by the color of their skin," said Doug Tietz, a spokesman for the Michigan Civil Rights Initiative, the group that supported the proposal. "I think Michigan was ready to move beyond that."

A majority of voters who said their families were getting ahead financially supported the proposal, according to a statistical analysis of the vote from voter interviews conducted for The Associated Press by Edison Media Research and Mitofsky International. A majority of those who said they were falling behind financially were opposed.
Voters who identified themselves as Republicans tended to favor the proposal. Those who considered themselves Democrats tended to oppose it.
Opponents worried that if the constitutional amendment passed in Michigan, the battle over affirmative action programs would spread to other states and roll back progress made toward equality for minorities and women.
"We think it's really sad that voters were deceived by a fraudulent campaign," said David Waymire, a spokesman for One United Michigan, a group opposed to the ballot campaign.
But supporters said affirmative action was unfairly keeping some people from getting jobs and university admissions because minorities were being given an edge. The ballot drive was led by Jennifer Gratz, a white student from suburban Detroit who says she was turned away from the University of Michigan in 1995. She says if she had been black, American Indian or Hispanic, she would have been admitted.

What do you guys think about this? Is America even ready for this at all?

2006-11-09T12:16:00.000-08:00

Happy Veteran's Day

This entry is dedicated to my fiance who is a Navy veteran, for serving his country America when he was needed. This entry is also dedicated to the millions of American veterans who served/are currently serving in the armed forces.

We owe in no small measure, the numerous civil liberties which we take for granted daily, to you all. Thanks for your bravery and your heroic deeds. Your willingness to risk your lives while serving your country is nothing short of admirable.

May God bless the souls of those who gave their lives on the battlefield fighting for freedom and a better America. May God bless and keep the families they left behind, so that their lives will not have been in vain. Amen.

Happy Veterans Day!

2006-11-06T11:54:00.000-08:00

It’s a rainy day…hallelluyah!!!!

It rained/drizzled intermittently this past weekend in Seattle. Isn’t there something about the rainy weather that just makes you sleep so well ;) It was definitely a restful weekend for me. I also hung out with my buddies on Friday at one of our friend’s place. We had loads of fun, and plenty to eat and drink. We watched Naija music videos...styl-plus is really good, i must say. Genevieve Nnaji's music video, on the other hand, was a mistake that never should have even happened. Like my friend, AA* said "What does it really take for some people to realize their calling?"...lol

I took Belle's advice from my previous post, and called Geico this morning for a rate quote. The good news is they actually did save me some money. Come Nov 11, 2006..I’ll switch to them for the really low rate of $610.10 for comprehensive + content + property damage + collision 6-month coverage (taking into consideration the "luxury" car factor and age of insured). In addition to that, I actually got a $53 discount for being a Society of Women Engineers (SWE) member…how cool is that! My $20 annual SWE membership fee has pretty much paid for itself. They also applied a $22 discount because my car has sophisticated theft-alarm systems. I also don’t have to pay any additional fees tacked on as “agent fees” like I did before when I was using AIG Agent Insurance. So all’s well that ends well. Thanks Belle!!!

Right now, with regards to my upcoming wedding has also come the question of name changing. Let me first state that it is certainly not a legal requirement to change your name when you get married. It’s perfectly valid to retain your maiden name. However, I thought about it and would like to change my name.

I’ve always loved compound names etc…XYZ Agbaje-Williams, ABC Tos-Benson etc… I struggle with not wanting to completely let go of my maiden last name as a tribute to my dad. Yet I’ve decided my maiden name doesn’t really sound good when hyphenated with my fiancée’s last name! Hmm…
Talk about vanity getting the better of retaining my dad’s name :)

I know that I want an hyphenated last name…I’ve always wanted one. What I think sounds good though is my fiance’s first and last name concatenated together as my last name….

Now I’m wondering what path to take…

Ladies, would you change your name when you get married? Or would you keep your old name and tack on his? Or...?

Gents, what’s your opinion on name changing after marriage? Do you care if she changes her name or not?

2006-11-02T09:41:00.000-08:00

Guys, I'm sorry that I haven't posted the updates on my wedding info but I recently heard some news that I'm still trying to digest

When words become too heavy and incapable, and tears are just not enough...

Dee, you always knew that I loved you. It always felt like we were blood although our ties were not technically blood-linked. It was so weird how we met, at Queen's College, both as new transfer students in SS1. We started talking and over time, we had linked together close family members/friends that we had in common.

Over the years..our growing teenage years, we did have our ups and downs. You were very cute and "cool" and there was a "contest" of sorts for your friendship in school.

We were born in the same year, although I was always quick to remind you I was older than you by a whooping 3 months. You really can’t shop for 3 months in the market I would tell you gleefully. We also had our dads in common. Boy, did we love those men or what.

They were both University of Ibadan alumni. Each went through in the 50s and 60s. Back when the school system in Nigeria, and indeed UI itself was a force to be reckoned with. They came from the generation of patriotic and hopeful Nigerians. The ones who worked by the sweat of their brow, and remained commited to our land. They who would never even entertain even the faintest thoughts of immigrating, no matter what happened.

We had an even closer bond with our dads, being that we were the children of their old age. You were the baby of the family. I was the 2nd to the last. I, born when my dad was 50. You were born when your dad was just a little younger than mine.

I remember our competition with grades in high school. You were hella smart, and I was too, so we pushed each other to do even better.

Remember how we would joke and laugh about the comments on visiting day, when some spiteful girls would ask, oh is that your grandpa? Our dads were rocking their gray hair...and loving it too, I should add. We loved our dads, we really did.

I had lost my mom when I was 8. You would talk about your older sisters studying in America, and they sent you cool stuff all the time. I remember when you told me they sent you the “spaghetti strap” tops that were in vogue at the time, and they included a note in the letter specifically instructing you that: These tops are not to be worn as underwear, they're meant to be worn alone as an outer garment. We both cracked up, because knowing you, you might have worn it as a “simi” (translation: undergarment)

Everything looked blissful on your end. And then it happened. This was around SSCE time, when you heard the news. Your dad was dead. You were immediately picked up from boarding house to be with your family. I was floored, yet I couldn’t really bring myself to tell you all the cliché words of solace that people say when one is bereaved. I had been down this road before, only it was with my mom. No one really feels what you feel; it’s futile to even try.

Class girls made arrangements, and we secured a bus to pay our condolences at your home in Iju-Ajuwon. You were at home sitting close to your mum, looking so sad. That look tugged at my heartstrings, and tears welled up in my eyes again. It was like re-visiting a scene from years back. Only then, I was the one being consoled.

Fastforward 6 years, and we both ended up in America. You left to start college barely 2 months after we graduated from QC. I came here about 1 year later. There was a long period of time when we lost touch. However few years ago, we re-connected again. We never actually saw each other though, we just talked over the phone. It was great, and this time we were now blood for real. My first cousin had married your first cousin.

Last year December, you went home for your sister’s wedding. It was your first time home in 5 years. You were so happy and thrilled to be going back, I was so happy for you too. You came back laden with beautiful pictures, joyful tales of reunion and great stories.

This year rolled around and you were not only working full-time, but you were also studying toward your masters in computer science. There were times we would talk and you would be in tears. You were stressed out, there were a lot of demands on you. When things got to me I would call you and leave teary voicemails, and you would call me right back.

Over the past few months though, we’ve both been really busy, and keeping in touch has been harder. You also took a nice break away from the hustle and bustle of Atlanta around July/August. We haven’t even spoken since then. So I really don’t know all the details about that trip. Yet you had been on my mind a lot. I tried calling you many times over the past month, but it was always the same thing. Your phone was switched off. Even more alarming, your voicemail box was always full.

In desperation, I called Yemi on Tuesday night, my friend who has the “hots” for you, the one who was always bugging you to be his girl. That was when he told me the news, he said your sister passed away, and that you were taking a break from work and school in Canada. The only reason he knew was he spoke to you very briefly and he had not heard from you ever since.

My mind raced and I couldn’t really fathom this news. I asked him what sister, afterall you have 3 big sisters. Yemi told me that at the time, he didn’t think it was proper to ask you all that information when you were obviously hurting so much.

I hung up soon after that and it was tears galore. I could not get myself together as I thought desperately. Could it be your oldest sister who has been married a while now and has children who lives in Atlanta? Oh God, let it not be so. Or was it the sister who just got married last year? Or the one just before you who was still single? Not that any one of them was more dispensable than the other, but my heart just ached for the kids.

It’s ironic though because I found out sure enough yesterday on blogspot via Calabargirl’s post titled Lawd of the Deep. It was your sister, Tola, who just got married last year. She was just 28, and just gave birth to twin babies this year. She died on September 28, 2006.

I still remember telling you how beautiful she was, years ago, when you first showed me her pictures. She died of breast cancer, and all I keep wondering is why? Breast cancer (and cervical cancer) have the highest survival rates when detected early. God why? In the email I sent you 2 days ago, I tried to express myself as best as I could. I gave up because the emotions welling up inside me were just too much for me to bear. You deserve happiness so much because you give so unselflessly to others. Yet, I can only imagine what you are going through now. At least you’re surrounded by your family at present. What about her newly wedded husband, it's not even a year yet. Tola's babies are not even a year old yet. I pray that God in his infinite mercies will give everyone in your family and Tola's husband/kids the divine strength to heal and move on.

God knows I’m still in shock, and too weak to even cry anymore. The ironic thing is that if I feel this way, who just knew Tola through you, then I can't even imagine how you must feel.

For what it’s worth, I am sorry and I love you.

2006-10-31T08:52:00.000-08:00

Happy Halloweennnnnnnnn!!!!!!!!!!!!

Thank you soooo sooooo much everyone for all the best wishes and congratulations. Heartfelt thanks to Overwhelmed Naija Babe, TP, Bella Naija "Anonymous aka Everybody's Aunty :)", Olawunmi, Naija Bloke, London Buki, Miguel, and MsMay. May each and everyone one of you be blessed with all you wish for and much more in Jesus Name. Amen.

I'm running off to my company's United Way Spooktacular Halloween Kick-Off to chill with the witches, goblins and wizards! We are campaigning to raise money for United Way. The money generated from the ongoing events will be used to help fund agencies that work to reduce homelessness, rendering help to children exposed to domestic violence, and other excellent causes.

It should be fun...

Here's to the spirit of giving and caring. Always.

2006-10-27T15:21:00.000-07:00

Posting By Popular Demand...

Ok fellow bloggers in Blogsville, World. I've received many "friendly threats" from Ms. May and many others to reveal the details of the "memorable day" as mentioned in an earlier blog.

So

The

Memorable

NEWS..........

..... (obviously I'm not too good at the suspense thing)

The memorable news IN SUMMARY....Boo proposed. He asked me to marry him on Wednesday, Oct. 18th.

And I said YESSSSSSS!!!! What can I say? God is really good! It was very emotional for me and I cried a lot just from the sheer joy and happiness.

I'm posting pictures of me admiring my engagement ring from different angles...lol. Don't blame me, I'm just really happy and excited!!!!!I love him so much and can't wait to officially begin our lives together forever.

Peace and Luv :-)

2006-10-26T11:34:00.000-07:00

Why do we say Hello, only to say Goodbye so soon...

This is a subject that I've thought about for quite some time, and I just wanted to share. So just think of it like I'm thinking out loud.

See, I never really understood the concept of dating someone "just because". Call me old-school, an idealist, or just plain unrealistic. I just don't understand why relationships never last any longer than they do, any more. It got to the point in college where I never felt comfortable asking about people's "significant others". I got tired of the predictable look that would undoubtedly crop up, as the person being questioned would crinkle up their eyes and wrinkle their lips in disdain. Most likely, they would say "Oh please...", before launching into why they were no longer with the said "significant other".

I think it is fair to say that in relationships, people (ok, ok...most people), actually do hope for the best. I think it is also logical that although people hope for the best, not all budding relationships will end up in long-term commitment like marriage. Perhaps it's only logical that to ensure balance, we need to have people like me who would prefer not to date anyone that I don't see a long-term future with, as well as people on the other end of the spectrum. The ones who have no qualms about telling you point-blank that " I'm just chilling with XYZ for now, there is no way we're going to be together for the long term".

Yet I still do wonder sometimes, is our generation letting go too soon, too quickly? Are we not just looking for all the wrong/right things in the wrong places? Yet, we get frustrated when years later, we can't seem to end up with someone acceptable to us.

I am not advocating that a cheating man or woman should be condoned. Far from it. But there are other "in-between" behaviors that perhaps should not be leading to divorce and break-ups. People breaking up because their significant other likes to eat something they don't like?! Never hesitating to divorce each other as soon as the next fine, willing partner shows up. In fact, I was privy to watching a commercial advertising divorce filing "specials"....30% off your 1st, 40% off the 2nd divorce filing if you used the same divorce lawyer. We have made mockery of the marriage institution, throwing all caution to the winds. Yet all this, in pursuit of what?

Are we just overly deluded into thinking everything will be rosy, and therefore we've become unwilling to tide over any "hard times" together?

Our grandmothers seemed to have being able to maintain that balance. I know sometimes, they withstood mind-boggling and atrocious treatment from their husbands. Nevertheless, there are stillmany lessons to be learnt from them. So, here's to the older generations..., the ones who we will one day step in their shoes. Hopefully our generation can learn a thing or two from them.

I think we really need it.

Peace and Luv :)

2006-10-19T16:25:00.000-07:00

Thinking about things Nigerians do/say...

1) Friend 1 to Friend 2 in reference to extending his/regards to Friend 3: "Say me hi to her"....This one is just too classic...lol. Now what is that really? But I guess as a naija paaazziinnn (person), you know what that means...right?

2) When your tummy started acting funny, who else did you turn to but good ol' Andrew Liver Salt...loved that drink...weird...i know

3) Who else do you know that refers to their mom and dad as Momsie and Popsie...lol

4) You know you had to have that Combantrin or "Agbo jedi jedi" ever so often to cleanse your system...

5) Pass me the "STOOD" (My Yoruba peeps...stop fronting na'...you know what i mean...lol) For those who genuinely don't know...stood means stool....

6) Or how about this one, Concerned Person A to Person B (looking genuinely worried too): Why are you "franking" your face...? Answer o! Franking in this case refers to frowning...

7) You know that uncouth illiterates have very high chances of becoming President...just take a look at our past "Head of State(s)"

8) The phrase "Army go, Army come" means something to you...

9) The book title Evbu my Lover rings a bell in your head. If you're really good, you know it was published under the Pace Setters novel series....I loved those books meehhhnn... :)

I miss home o jare :) Hope the week is going on well for you all. I know this entry reads Thursday Oct. 19 but I'm actually just posting it up a week later.

Peace and Luv :-)

2006-10-19T13:48:00.000-07:00

Tagged....by Overwhelmed Naija Babe!

Here goes my attempt to complete this "taggation assignment"....

FOUR JOBS YOU'VE HAD IN YOUR LIFE
1. Program Manager at Microsoft
2. Engineer at Alcoa
3. Dining Hygiene Resident Expert Specialist...lol (otherwise known as Cafetaria Dishwasher in college)
4. College Tutor assisting students

FOUR FICTIONAL JOBS YOU WISH YOU HAD
1. Professional Yoruba Movie Watcher
2. Famous Writer
3. ?
4. ?

FOUR MOVIES YOU COULD WATCH OVER AND OVER AGAIN
1. Games Women Play (Naija movie)
2. Love and Basketball
3. Remember the Titans
4. V for Vendetta

FOUR CITIES YOU'VE LIVED IN
1. Lagos, Nigeria
2. Ibadan, Nigeria
3. Bettendorf, Iowa (among the corn fields)
4. Jos, Nigeria

FOUR TV SHOWS YOU LOVE TO WATCH
1. Girlfriends/All of Us
2. Sportscenter/any detroit pistons bball game
3. CSI
4. Law and Order the original

FOUR PLACES YOU'VE BEEN ON VACATION/TRAVELED
1. England
2. Cotonou
3. Pennyslvania
4. Jos, Plateau State

FOUR WEBSITES YOU VISIT DAILY
1. www.google.com
2. www.msn.com
3. http://www.blogspot.com/
4. www.cnn.com

FOUR THINGS YOU WON'T EAT
1. Frogs
2. Snakes
3. Oily pasta...ewww :P
4. Human Meat just like Overwhelmed

FOUR THINGS YOU WISH YOU COULD EAT OR DRINK RIGHT NOW
1. Hot Amala with spicy ewedu soup
2. Cold bottle of Maltina to balance the equation
3. Some nice Mr. Biggs Chicken/Meat Pie to aid in digestion
4. Some Tastee Fried Chicken Strawberry Icecream to finish it all off

FOUR THINGS IN YOUR BEDROOM
1.Documents and more documents....
2. Shoes and Clothes of course
3. Chest of Drawers to house my "junk" and make my room look tidy
4. Laundry Basket because I was too lazy to put it away in the laundry room

FOUR THINGS YOU ARE WEARING RIGHT NOW
1. Lab Coat
2. Shirt
3. Pants
4. Shoes....Well Duh!!! You for no dey wear shoes...lol

FOUR PLACES I'D RATHER BE RIGHT NOW
1. At home chilling with my boo
2. Sipping Kahlua White Russian in Hawaii
3. Visiting my dad in Ibadan
4. Roaming the streets of Rome in Italy

FOUR PEOPLE YOU’D REALLY LOVE TO HAVE DINNER WITH
1. My late mom...just one evening
2. Oprah...
3. Lagbaja
4. Amel Larrieux
* would have included Bill Gates like most...but that's done already. So 1 down, and 3 (realistically) to go*

FOUR THINGS YOU ARE THINKING RIGHT NOW
1. One of the most memorable moments in my life that just happened last night.
Gosh I'm so happy and I can't stop grinning to myself. God is GOOOD!!!!
2. I miss work for one day (yesterday) and the sky is literally falling by the time I get in this morning. So like the good "worker" that I am, I am seriously working on resolving said issues.
3. I love my boo
4. That Starbucks Double Chocolate chip frappucino/ Carribean Jamba Juice I'm going to get after work

FOUR OF YOUR FAVORITE THINGS
1. Family and friends.
2. A good book
3. Decorating...and hunting for unique pieces
4. Nestling in boo's arms and falling asleep

I'm feeling too lazy to complete the remaining...Overwhelmed no vex oh! :)

2006-10-17T15:49:00.000-07:00

Just How Many "Hits" Is Enough...PART TWO

It's interesting to see that we have one predominant school of thought emerging about pre-marital sex from the previous post. The comments that stick by the Biblical and moral standpoints that caution against engaging in pre-marital sex. Thank you all for your comments. Like I said before though, the context of the blog entry was/is not to even attempt to debate the merits or demerits of pre-marital sex...it's just too complex of an issue that I don't even want to try.

I was thinking though along the same lines... and I thought it was interesting to me how our tradition and civilisation or "religion" complement/contradict themselves atimes.

For example:

Practice 1

I think we all heard the stories of the proverbial virgin in our traditional Nigerian culture (back in the day?). She was a testimony to the great upbringing that her parents had bequeathed her. She was a treasure to the community, and a worthy prize indeed to the man who married her. In fact, woe betide any young girl with her "maidenhead" not intact! She would promptly be sent back to her family house in disgrace. Her parents would also have to return all the dowry/bride price paid for her.

Practice 2
In Yoruba culture especially, I can authoritatively say the most suspect generation who practice(d) this was in our parent's generation and older. How many of us "their kids" realized that mommy and daddy were in the business long before they were married...lol. I'm in that boat too...i wasn't a premature baby, yet my birth was not quite 9 months after my parents got married...hmm

It went like this...Man met woman and they wanted to get married. Introduction was done to meet both families, and all that good stuff. In most cases, a condition for marriage to occur would be included. The official marriage could not happen until the woman became pregnant.
The popular reason given for this practice seems to revolve around not wanting relatives to have any reason to meddle in the married couples affair. Another reason would probably be that this was the crude way of making sure that the woman's fertility was not impaired in any way. (Pls feel free to comment on the other reasons that you may know about why this is done). Yet, however old-school as it might seem, this practice still goes on.

How is the woman going to get pregnant if she and husband-to-be were not engaging in pre-marital sex? So what even happens when after 3-6 months of trying to conceive, and there's still no baby on the horizon...? Is that license then to discard her and look for another baby-bearing machine? I'm yet to figure this one out.

Either way, it looks like the woman definitely gets the short end of the stick if/when things don't work out as planned....

What do y'all think?

2006-10-13T14:07:00.000-07:00

JUST HOW MANY "HITS" IS ENOUGH?????????

What am I talking about here? I am referring to the matrimonial bed, the concept of its sacredness and its relevance (or better yet its seeming irrelevance) to today's society. Today's culture where we celebrate pre-marital sex in all forms. The media regularly bombards us with new and drastically improved ways to increase our sexual apetite, shore up our looks in order to snag men/women into our beds. The trend in some churches of late is quite alarming, even they choose not to even tackle this issue or discuss it at all. Afterall, no one is perfect and we all have our crosses to bear before Christ.

My aim here is certainly not to either villify nor celebrate anyone who has engaged in pre-marital sex. The simple truth is that most of us, engage in (or have engaged in), whichever one suits you most in unmarried sex. Plain and Simple.

Yet we as Nigerians (insert your nationality as applicable, I just don't want to generalize too much) still do not confront the "sex" issue as head-on because of "cultural undertones" and the negativity associated with it. It becomes even more perplexing to me when I debate this issue in my mind.

If the consensus is that we as Nigerians (I refrain from saying Blacks/Africans in order to create a more accessible subpopulation to focus on that I know about) do not tackle the issue of sex head-on, I think our Nigerian media forms contradict this very notion. I watch a lot of Yoruba/Nigerian movies and there are just too many allusions to sex in these movies, between married couples, mere friends/unmarried couples. All groups are fair game. Therefore, to really be true to ourselves, I think we really do acknowledge this issue to an extent.

I mean how else can we explain the concept behind a classic Yourba movie: "Ogege Didun" (Translation is Sweet Banana). Go figure, banana of course here refers to a man's sexual organ. Point Blank. The plot of the movie then is to sequentially highlight and visually demonstrate over the course of 3 hours just how many young ladies are addicted to the "sweet banana" in question.

Ah I digress....Anyway back to the issue at hand.

Is it hypocritical that even when you have engaged in unwedded sex with your fiance on the bed in question, you still want it removed and a new one in its place before you get married?

One school of thought, which I think will probably consist of predominantly females might see "some" reason in the above request. Afterall you don't want to start off your marriage on the same bed that has satisfied various different booty call urges (let's be real here...yourself included). Especially when your man is/was definitely more experienced than you in the science of bedmatics. In fact you know this because he's told you how he lost count at 90 women (however that's not the point here). We could of course go off on a tangent here and dissect what number of "hits" (aka sexual partners) is acceptable, even for men? Afterall, women are still usually judged on the number of people they are purported to have been with. Hmm...

Anyway let's think along these lines. By default, a relationship should not be about holding on to the past right? It's about what the future holds, recognizing and learning from past mistakes and new beginnings. Enter the other school of thought. But if there's no sense or point in holding on to the past, why can't we just let bygones be bygones. Disregard the number of women who had sex on your soon to be matrimonial bed, and mentally view it as new. Afterall, what is the sense in throwing away a perfectly good bed?

What do you guys think about this?

PS: Charles Du** stop hiding in cyberspace, I know you're reading so post some comments oh! :-)

2006-10-13T13:54:00.000-07:00

SHHHHHAAAAAAAKE YOURSELF LOOSEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I just wanted, no scratch that, I NEEDED, to share this song with you all. This song that had me in a MAD frenzy on my way driving to work this morning. My dad had called from Nigeria yesterday evening, and delivered a message from our pastor to me. The message was for me to get into the habit of fasting on Fridays (from morning till around 1). Great, afterall prayers are never too much especially in this world we live in.

To get my mind right, I wanted to listen to a Gospel CD, so Vickie Winans' "Bringing it all Together" CD it was.

The first song on that CD: Shake Yourself Loose just got me. The lyrics/beats and overall up-tempo feeling was just what I needed. So just wanted to share the lyrics with you all.

Here's to shaking ourselves loose of all the baggage and unnecessary clutter that we ingest and hold on to year after year. Here's to the ability to forgive and recover from past hurt. Here's to the refreshing innocence of babies and their genuine curiosity to learn new things without pre-conceived notions already formed in their minds. Here's to YOU most of all, all of you who read my blog and listen to what I have to say (interesting or not).
Have a great weekend.

Shake Yourself Loose(recorded by Vicki Winans)

VERSE 1 (Trio)
(Hey...hey..hey...hey)
Said you been bound up - Lookin? for a way to break free
Devil?s had you tied up - Listen to these words from me
Your situation may seem hopeless but it's not the end
Though you are burdened and have shackles on your feet

CHORUS
(Now)... I... want you to know - You're about to break loose (unison)Jesus took the keys... and gave 'em to you(So...Here?s what you gotta do)
Shake loose...
everything that binds you up -
Who told you that you can't make it
When God says that you can shake it - Shake loose...
everything that binds you up
Praise Him like its your last chance -
Get up and do the David dance

VERSE 2 (Solo)
I heard you were feeling down - That Satan had you bound
No you don't have to stay - Yes, you can leave today
Just lika' in the bible days - When men began to pray
Those jail cells start to shaking - Those chains start to break in

BRIDGE
Don't let the enemy keep you in bondage
Praise your way through - Come on and shake loose
Every worry, every care
Praise your way through - Come on and shake loose....
Those chains that bind you.... should.... only remind
Praise your way through - Come on and shake loose
Problems... know that.... He will.... solve them
Praise your way through - Come on and shake loose
Shake.... yourself..... loose(Lift..... your hands)
Lift your hands(Come on and lets dance)
Come on ...lets dance
Shake.... yourself.... loose(Scream and shout)
Scream and shout(He brought you out)
He brought you out
Shake... yourself... loose(Loose your seat) Loose your seat(Now move your feet) Move your feet
Shake... yourself... loose(Owww.......Shout)
Shout for joy - make some noise
Because I'm free...FreeTAG(Good God Almighty ahh)
Free(He told me in his word that..) Free(That I could be free...yeah)
Free(The Devil tried to stop me)
Free....Free...free....free..Shake.... yourself..... loose!!

2006-10-12T10:57:00.000-07:00

A little about Me...I've BEEN TAGGED...!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

by reading Overwhelmed Naija Babes post so I will share a few details about myself.

I love the color(s) purple and red. I am a Queen's College old girl, graduated in the Y2K set. I also attended FEGICOLLA as a "junior girl". In exactly 3 years, I would have lived exactly 8 years each in Ibadan, Lagos and the US respectively. I have actually been to world richest man and Microsoft Chairman Bill Gates' home in Medina, WA for dinner ...and yes to answer all you haterz :P...he was in attendance..., This was last year, July 2005 (In fact, I think I need to dedicate an entire blog entry just to describe the incredible affluence and "smartness" of BillG's home...hmm)

I noticed about 2 weeks ago that I have soooo many black pieces in my closets...maybe I should consider diversifying. I am very good with my money, I never spend my money on irrelevancies. I consider the necessities in life to be shelter, food and reasonable clothing. New cars, expensive vacations, designer stuff are NOT necessities (especially when you have to "charge" them). Unfortunately, the greater majority of America thinks they are, that's why although America is the world's richest country, most Americans still live paycheck to paycheck and are unable to save even a paltry 5% of their earnings! Most people don't even know that in order to retire in a " at least moderate fashion", financial experts estimates that the average person needs to save at least 10-15% of their annual income to maintain a decent lifestyle come retirement. It's never too early to start saving/investing, make your money work hard for you!

I never consider failure as an alternative, yet when I fail, I become even more energized to succeed. My first kiss was when I was 16...ha, although my first chewing gum boyfriend was when I was 8. I have 6 piercings in total...lol...don't freak out, I'm counting each single hole as a unique piercing. I love books so much....in fact my most treasured possession has to be my book collection. I started writing poetry seriously about 3 years ago, as a means to pay tuition in college.

I read Alex Haley's ROOTS at the age of 6, and I understood everything. I have never re-read it since then, yet I still converse with others about it till this day based upon my memory from reading it then. I love my mom for introducing me to the wonder of books at a very young age. For as long as I can remember, I have always found solace in books. I have learned a lot through the magic of words. Over time, I have come to realize that given the person that I am, I would rather buy 10 good books than 1 "physically excruciating" stiletto shoe that I'll only manage to wear once or twice...if even.

I frequently check my front door to make sure it is locked. I also like looking for my keys to make sure they are not lost, like a million times.... The first man I fell in love with was my father, and we have never grown out of love since then. I love my nickname Yoyo Clever because my dad gave it to me. I have a very wonderful boyfriend who I call "Boo" for the purposes of this blog. He is 9 years older than I am, I love him so much.

I have a photographic memory, I remember exact words, people and places. I am a "baaaadd" cook, ask 'bout me...on the real though, I enjoy cooking all dishes. I can also bake pretty well. I'm a romantic at heart...kissing and cuddling with Boo is one of my favorite things to do when I'm not working. I love jewelry and perfumes, my dresser currently holds DKNY-Apple (a gift from my boo), Hugo Boss Woman, Escada Sentiment, Burberry London, Davidoff Cool Water and a Bath and Body Works Vanilla Body Splash. I am into artistic nudes of black people...i currently have 3 displayed around my home. I never completely let go of my "sucking" habit (hence the name "jete jete" from my dad as a kid), I still tug on my ears and suck sometimes, especially when I'm curled up in a corner reading by myself...it feels so sweet...lol. I never measure myself by other's successes...i focus more on defining my own achievements. I love God and I realize I need to work on building my relationship with Him. On that same note, I realized a while back that every single dream that I ever wished for (or set goals) has come to pass. That is very humbling, I give thanks to God Almighty. I am working on setting new goals for the upcoming year, May God guide me. I am wistful sometimes because I wish I wasn't so busy so that I could keep in touch more with my old college friends. PST time sucks because of that. Oh well.

I am still not sure if being gay is a choice or if people are indeed born with it. I struggle with the thought that the Bible/God in his words would not denounce as a sin, a trait or behavior that he created us with. I notice people's ears...the same way people notice lips and legs etc. I tend to over analyse a lot of things. I also think a lot about things that happen around me. I think I'm quiet, but my friends would disagree.

I am fanatical about Yoruba movies...I get them shipped by the truckload from Ibadan. I am taking a temprorary vacation from English/Igbo naija movies because the story lines have become much too similar and uninteresting to me. I'm jealous of Beyonce's stomach :). I also notice she seems to be getting lighter all the time now...is she bleaching? I love my little sister so much and I would do anything for her. I once wished I could wear spaghetti straps without a bra, but no more, I now celebrate the liberation of my 36 DDs.

I love music...all different types. I think Amel Larrieux is grossly underrated....that sister can SAAAAAAAANNNNNNNNGGGGGGG!!! I would love to visit 1) Italy, Rome 2) Orlando, Florida (Disney World) 3) Hawaii 4) Spain 5) Bora Bora islands by the end of 2009.

I know I will be a millionaire before or by the time i'm 30. Please don't ask me how, I just know and I am working toward it.

YOU'VE BEEN TAGGED IF YOU'RE READING THIS!!!! (even if you already been tagged before....muhahahahaha evil laugh....fades...EXIT)

2006-10-11T10:37:00.000-07:00

Thank you GOOGLE for exposing "THEM": These People Sef....dem wan "thief" my money

People see me see trouble oooh. So I was bored during my lunch break, and proceeded to google my name to see what new things would come up (vanity is me...lol..i know I know).

Anyway, there was a new hit that I had not noticed before...(on Page 2 of the hits)...What actually caught my eye was the text underneath the link:

Nominees of distinction for the Merit Award were ****, Omo Ibadan, ****, *** and ****. Each received $250 (at the ceremony in April 2006).

What????!!!!

My people I was like....what is going on? I never even received any notice of winning any $250. Talk less of actually attending the ceremony to receive the award/check! By this time, my curiousity had been seriously piqued, so I put on my "Inspector Gadget" hat and went straight to work.

Upon reading the entire article to make sure the content implied the same, I was flabbergasted. As in why would they award me money and never give it to me. I put it down to my recent graduation, and multiple change in addresses. Only fishy thing here was that I had never even received initial notice of the award.

Some of you might argue that $250 is not that much, and nothing to lose sleep over but I know what I can do with it oh...(lol) Free money that was not expected. Imagine the havoc I can wreck if I enter Marshalls or TJ Maxx just once, I know I'll come out smiling....OR I can save/invest it and watch it earn interest....not so?

So I proceeded to call the office that awarded the money. Unfortunately, they are on EST time so they had closed by then.

Not to be deterred by that, I proceeded to send emails to the Administrator of the awards as well as the Accounts co-ordinator (see below):

Hello,
My name is *Omo Ibadan* and apparently I was selected as a nominee of distinction for this year's Merit Award. I never received said notice nor my award/check for $250. Per the article on the website, $250 was awarded to all recipients.
Who can I contact regarding this?
thanks,
*Omo Ibadan*

This morning I checked my email and they had replied:

Dear *Omo Ibadan*,

The Fund Administration processed your Merit Award on 4/26/06. It was sent to the disbursement agency and the check should have been mailed to you on 5/4/06. The check number was D0338446. This check has not been cashed. We apologize for this inconvenience.

Please contact Mary in Funding Allocation Services. Please feel free to call me if you have any more questions.

Sincerely,
Linda

So I am still trying to get to the bottom of this, and I won't stop until I get what is mine. Give unto Caesar's what is Caesars...not so?

On the flip side, I think the lesson in point that I have learned is to definitely be Googling myself more often now to discover any potential winings, that I never received. That should be interesting.

Have a good day y'all

Peace and luv :-)

2006-10-09T15:11:00.000-07:00

Origins of the word "FUCK"

Hello my people oh! Hope you all had a great weekend. Mine was pretty interesting. Hung out with my "boys" after quite a long spell, and we all attended a FREE (supposed to be ooohhh) real-estate investing class taught by Greg Pinneo, the self-acclaimed "Real Estate Maverick" in downtown Seattle. Of course, I have other choice words to describe the whole thing...so happenings from the event will be described in another blog entry shortly.

I was talking to someone a while back and the subject shifted to the topic of curse words. I was asking why the person liked to use the F word to punctuate every other word! Anyway, so I got schooled on how the word originated, and just thought I'd share. I think it's pretty funny :-)

Version 1

So way back in the day in ancient England, people could not have sex without getting due consent from the King (unless you were in the Royal Family). So therefore whenever anyone wanted to have a baby(hmm...yeah right), they would obtain the consent of the King. After the King gave his approval to proceed with "the deed", he would order them to be given a placard which would be hung on their door while they were having sex. The placard had F.U.C.K (Fornication Under Consent of the King) written on it.

How interesting is that? I think it would be so funny if that was how things still operated...hmm :P

Version 2

Again this version traces the word "fuck" back to colonial times in England. During this period of time, people were punished for prostitution.
It is said that F.U.C.K. was an acronymn that meant 'For Unlawful Carnal Knowledge'.
FUCK was just written on the stocks that held these criminals that engaged in prostitution because For Unlawful Carnal Knowledge was too long to go on the stocks.

So I've done my own part in sharing useless information for the year...lol

Have a good week y'all...

Peace and Luv

2006-10-06T11:22:00.000-07:00

My Love Letter to the National Society of Black Engineers

When did our love affair begin? When did the twinkle in my eyes arise at the mere mention of your name. I first heard of you in freshman year, as a budding Computer Engineering major. Of course, that was before you held a workshop that I attended in Electrical Engineering, and since then I never looked back. I admit that I never really took the time to explore and discover what you were about. I was busy. Too busy acclimatizing to the weather, the food. Adjusting to the feelings of homesickness. I was in withdrawal from being seperated from my Unilag friends. It was a new country, new people, new threats, new challenges. All to foray through at age 16.

I really got to know you more in sophomore year. Most of all, I fell in love with what you were about. NSBE's mission: is to increase the number of culturally responsible Black engineers who excel academically, succeed professionally and positively impact the community.

I still get goosebumps and shivers when I think about your mission. You who I love so dearly.

You gave me a welcome home among black intellectuals. I didn't feel so alien anymore, like I felt in my predominantly white classes at school. In my Engineering labs where the good ol' white boys would partner up and leave me sitting alone. It was all good though, I loved the look on their faces on those days when I finished all the experiments before them, even when working alone. You exposed me to environments and career events that made me feel comfortable in my own skin. Because of you, I realized that contrary to what the media propagates, there are people who look just like me, blacks, in technology. Not just Ney-Ney and Day-Day up to no good. I met Hakeem who worked at NASA, with rocket propulsion technologies. I met Don who led the team that works on Core MicroArchitecture at Intel. Oluwafemi who worked in Systems Engineering at Northrop Grumman. I even met Randal Pinkett, winner of "The Apprentice" show. NSBE you provided opportunities no one else could ever give me.

How can I ever truly express my love for this worthy organization? Through my financial struggles to pay tuition as an international student, you were always there for me. Damn those other organizations with their restrictions, who classify superior intelligence and brain power according to nationality. SWE, IEEE, FastWeb! You know yourselves. Oh no, but you NSBE got it right. Your leaders realized that the sheer power harnessed in the human brain could not be rightly classified, restricted even to a particular set of individuals because of where they were born. You gave me OPPORTUNITY! You gave me equal footing. I always knew that when NSBE scholarship application time would come around, at least 90% of your scholarships would be citizenship status free. You showed love to my Nigerian people and any NSBE-aware person will vouch that this is true...At least 30% of all NSBE awardees every year are to people of Nigerian descent. I dare someone to prove me incorrect.

You never ever dissapointed me. You honored me above my peers. You recognized my abilities and rewarded me for them. That's why every year since I became active in the organization, you gave me at least $5000 to help toward tuition. Did I mention that you paid for my airline fare and hotel accomodations to attend the national conventions. You went a step further and blessed me with a $500 stipend to help me buy food and other miscellaneous items during the conventions. All of this was like manna from heaven to a broke, struggling and upcoming engineering college student. Yet you know what just overwhelms me. This was all designed to help ME succeed. To help me advance. To help me progress. It was never really about what was in it for you. That's why I swore and I still do to never let you down. Whenever the name of NSBE is called, I will always proudly represent.

You seriously embarassed me with offers from multi-billion dollar corporations. You aided in the unfortunate jealousy from my peers who could not understand how one person could attract so many offers. You placed me in a mad frenzy, a catatonic state of bewilderment. I was nearing graduation, and through no little help from you, with tremendous employer interest in me. Not including the ones that did not even make it to my consideration list. The big names courted me, many of these same big names who were non-existent at my school's career fair. I shiver in thanks, just thinking about it.

Because of you NSBE, today I am the proud owner of a thick employment offer rejection folder through college...it houses the numerous offer letters that I had to decline because they were not competitive enough, I didn't like the location or even the flimsy reason that the HR rep did not return my call promptly enough!

I love you NSBE because you gave me the power to CHOOSE. I could pick and choose who I wanted to work for because they all came running. Whenever I checked in to the National Convention, you were always quick to give me an I.D badge with different colored ribbons proclaiming to all who could see that this was a Torchbearer, Regional officer, Honors Award Recipient at the Golden Torch Awards later that evening and all the works. You and I know just how much corporate America loves to be associated with the best. So I milked it for what it was worth. I was able to dictate my salary, because of the excellent precedents you set for me. I flirted with the best of them, and came out smelling like roses.

Without you, I would have probably have had to delay graduation just a little bit longer. Yes, I would have been off to co-op or intern with one/two more big corporations, just to pay the tuition. 21, graduated now, no student loans to hold me back or mar my budding financial world-view. I'm free, unattached and able to leverage my potential to the fullest. I owe you NSBE. That's why I have vowed to put something away each year to donate. So that you can continue to help people like me achieve their potential. In due time, I will create an endownment guaranteed to provide something year in year out. It's the least I can do.

At your annual Golden Torch Awards, I was always amazed, transfixed, transported to new heights. I absorbed the brilliant aura all around me. I saw technical excellence among Blacks being honored. I mingled, I was in awe, I laughed, I cried. I saw 16 year old Black males and females working on quantum theory projects that were mind-boggling. You proved that a rap career is not the end-all and be-all for a black person in America. Indeed, like you broadcasted in Boston last year, the revolution will not be televised. And it won't. Forget those silly broadcasting stations who felt it more worthwhile to broadcast Girls Gone Wild in Cancun than a short 5-10 minute clip of 20,000+ Black Engineers gathered under one roof, doing something positive. Never mind Them, I say, because they will not know until it hits them. They will be caught unawares. The revolution will be executed behind office walls, in basement labs, project war rooms. Created and borne in the minds of those who seek to achieve distinction. Those who will pursue excellence. Those who refuse to accept that the color of our skin makes us any less smarter. And by God, we are not.

Earlier on this year, as I sat in the Awards Ceremony after receiving my check. I made a silent vow to you. I know you still remember. I promised you with tears in my eyes that I would be back. In due time, I want to win one of the Technical Excellence Fellowships reserved for people who have demonstrated high technical aptitude, and given long lasting contributions in the form of significant inventions. I promised you then that I would not shame you in my new voyage into corporate America. I still promise the same now, and I'm working on it love. I am. And I will be back. I have never disappointed you, have I?

I love you NSBE. Thanks for everything.

2006-10-02T15:53:00.000-07:00

New Month, New Drama..he he he

Hope everyone had a great weekend. My boyfriend (aka boo) and I went to an Independence Day party (Nigerian Independence Day : October 1st, 1960) in Seattle over the weekend. We really had a lot of fun there. He was born here and has lived in the US for many years, so being exposed to a "cultural event" like this was very interesting to him. It was good fun, I also got to sync up with my old friends that I hadn't seen in a while. The music was good, but let's just say the food was "sketchy" at best. Not to put a damper on things though, overall it was a good time.

About 1am that day, boo and I decided to call it a night. So I was waiting for him by the exit while he said his goodbyes. Next thing I know, Mr. Random Guy steps to me and says "I just need to tell you this, you are so beautiful. Did you come here with someone, would you like to dance?" First of all, is that not an insult? So what if I came alone, was that a blatant invitation to take me home that night then. Chai, wonders shall never end o. By this time though, my boyfriend was ready and waiting for me. I just quickly replied to random guy, Yes I came here with my boyfriend. Bye. And I walked off.

Boo had heard the conversation since he had been approaching us at that point. Anyway apparently my boyfriend felt disrespected by the whole episode but he didn't tell me then. Boo just took me outside to stay with his friend, and told me he'd be right back.

What happened next only God knows my people. All I know is that it involved Mr. Random guy, my boyfriend and a mirror/glass. My boyfriend apparently considered it to be a "diss" and boo minced no words in telling me that if he had attended with his African-American friends in tow, Mr. Random Guy would have been beaten to a pulp. My boyfriend came back and told me that he had to teach the guy a lesson. In conclusion: Boo felt disrespected, and jealous (awww...). However, from my own perspective there was really no reason to be. I thought that it was not necessary for him to go back and fight with the guy...

So that's how Independence day ended my people.

Have a good week y'all.

Peace and luv:)

2006-09-29T14:41:00.000-07:00

Wedding Fever Season!!!

It seems like EVERYWHERE I turn to nowadays, I am being greeted with wedding notices, if not even full-blown baby christening announcements. This makes me really wonder, you know do a reality check wondering when did time fly by so quickly, bringing us to this point and a new phase in life/growing up is being embarked on by a lot of people.

Lately, any time I talk to any old friend, the subject just never changes of late. It's always hey, have you heard that Lagbaja just got married, Tamedun now has twin boys. Of course, I am happy at all the joyous unions and new arrivals into the world. Life and new beginnings are miracles that come from God himself.

I just turned 21 not too long ago, but my average classmate back in high school/college is now around 24-25, maybe even older in some cases. Of course in typical Nigerian fashion, that seems to be the make-or-break age. Any older, and you are officially relegated to the outcast sisterhood of "unmarried spinsters". My older friends lament to me daily about the pressure. Pressure from home, friends that are married and otherwise. They moan about unwanted random hook-ups that are plied on them by people who think they need help with hooking a man...and the list goes on and on.

Thankfully, I don't have any such pressure from my family. Although some people have hinted to me atimes about how it doesn't matter what age one is, as long as you've completed your education (Read: You really should be getting married soon, what else are you waiting for?)

The truth is that marriage is a beautiful thing, and so here's to wishing us all God's help and blessings in finding one's God-given partner... :)

Peace and luv:)

2006-09-28T15:09:00.000-07:00

Basketball...I LOVE this game...PART DEUX!!!!

Cont'd from previous posting....

Why? Because individual ego (s) started to get in the way of team spirit.

Any true basketball fan saw the rapid degeneration and unraveling of the Pistons after Game 2 vs. the Cleveland Cavaliers. The Pistons literally went on cruise control and stopped playing Detroit Basketball.

Months later, in the aftermath of the backstage trades over the summer, Big Ben has moved on to "greener pastures" in form of the Chicago Bulls. Yes, Big Ben Wallace was a core team member of the Pistons, and his defensive abilities will be missed. This might hurt the Pistons short term, but not long term! I know the NBA is a business but dang...Ben was an unknown before Joe Dumars signed him up. At the end of the day, Big Ben did what he felt he had to do. IMHO, Joe D. made the best business decision for the Pistons. I am NOT decrying Ben
Wallace's contributions to the Pistons. But I want you to think along these lines with me....

If the name Ben Wallace made as one of the best defensive players in the league was 50% through Ben Wallace's own efforts, at least 50% (nothing less) was from the Detroit Pistons collectively. They are the ones who added the fuel into making him who he BECAME. Before the Detroit Pistons, he was virtually a nobody. Are you really going to tell me that he would have won all those Defensive Player Awards and A CHAMPIONSHIP RING over the past 6 years with the Portland Trail Blazers where he came from? I didn't think so either. The honest to God truth here, is that Ben Wallace needed the Pistons just as much, if not even more, than they needed him. Let's face it people, sure Big Ben was a defensive specialist, but the rest of the starters are no defensive sissies either.

Imagine Mr. Big Shot Chauncey Billups posting up from three-point land, Rip Hamilton running opponents ragged in the mid-range, Rasheed Wallace dominating in the perimeter (no one, and I repeat: NO ONE in the league can guard 'Sheed in that area), Tayshaun giving them a dose of that 7 ft 2 inch wing span, Hunter and Dice coming off the bench and handling their business the way only they can, and there you have the Pistons. Offensively Ben was never a go to man on the team. Not because he was not needed to step up but because his talent did not lay in that area in a huge fashion. Did this hurt the Pistons...hell yeah it did, and many times too. 2005 NBA Finals anyone???!!!.

The best backcourt in the entire NBA league is none other than the energizing duo of Mr Big-Shot Billups and "Energizer Bunny" Hamilton. Chauncey is a proven clutch shooter, and together with Rip, the Pistons are STILL an extremely POTENT threat defensively to opposing teams.

Tongues were wagging at the start of the summer, I can't believe the Pistons why didn't they compete with the Bulls offer. Be silent for a bit Oh ye, of little faith :) The bottom line is that Joe Dumars did what was right by not over-spending for Wallace. Dumars earlier promised Wallace to make him the highest-paid member of the team. That is no chicken title. He kept his word to Ben, but Ben did not want it. This also begs the question: At Ben Wallace's age of 30-something, although he is still a defensive force, he is deteriorating. Last season's playoffs highlighted that very fact. From a business perspective, there is really no way on God's good earth that you can justify paying Ben Wallace that kind of money 2 years down the road.

Eventually and trust me it will inevitably happen with the Bulls, you run into problems with salary cap issues, because you were shortsighted enough that you can only attract mediocrity at best with the money left. To the Pistons, yes it is a step back for the moment. Sure it might cost the Pistons a run at the championship this year, but not for long.

The reality of the situation was that I think Ben wanted to leave. Afterall c'mon people what really is a difference of less than 5 million to a multi-millionaire many times over when allegiance and loyalty are factored in. Ben became a prima donna last season, internally squabbling with Flip Saunders, heck he even walked out of a game and refused to play. His reason? He wanted to be more involved in the offense. Trust me, I love Ben Wallace, but I had to laugh. I cannot count how many times the Pistons offense has needed a boost and Big Ben is just not that guy to provide that punch. If I had a dime for everything Big Ben missed a crucial free throw or dunk, I would be quite wealthy right now.

You will probably argue that, but it shouldn't matter afterall the Pistons game is centered around defense, that is true. At the same time, people who understand the game realize that defense ultimately creates offense. So what happens then when your offensive weapons are lacking? The Pistons were able to make it happen on the strength of their defensive game, working together as a TEAM. The Detroit Pistons is/was not built around superstars. It's a team with a bunch of guys who get down and dirty without complaining. 48 minutes, they block, rebound, challenge the heck out of shots. They run you ragged. That's a team that's got HEART and SOUL. Bad times will come, like last season, where they choked when it counted the most. Yet, it's a little consoling because the pathetic ball that was played toward the end of last season's playoffs was so NOT Pistons Ball. Now it's time to move on and learn from their "mistakes", and I know that you just can't beat the HEART of a CHAMPION. Remember in 2004, when everyone discounted the NBA finals. Expert analysts predicted it was going to be a 4-0 sweep, maybe 1 pity win for the Pistons, they said. No way in hell are they beating the almighty LA "KobeShaqs"..oops what is wrong with me? I meant LA Lakers, who IMHO was one of the worst teams ever put together in the history of the league. That team was purpotedly staffed up to the hilt, with the best money could buy. The team listing looked like a Who's who in Basketball. At the end of the day, guess who the joke was on. A real team, Detroit, emerged victorious.You might douse the fire within, even hurt yourself in the process, fail to learn from mistakes immediately but it is not over for the boys from the MOTOR CITY. It can't be. They've got too much heart. That's why I KNOW that the Detroit Pistons will be back, the same way I know that Miami Heat will not be reaching the NBA finals anytime soon. The current Heat line-up collectively was built for a one-time championship run. I don't see a repeat in the near future.

As always, your comments, opposing views and everything else in between are always welcome.

I say, May the best man win this season...whatever team that might be.

Peace and Luv :-)

2006-09-28T09:05:00.000-07:00

I love this game....BASKETBALL that is!!!!! PART 1

My love affair with the hoopz game began as far back as I can remember. From the first time I watched a game at around 4 years old, I was hooked. It is true that most things we grow fond of as kids, usually get relegated to the background as we grow older, and inevitably more preoccupied with different interests. That never happened to me with regards to basketball.

Over the years, my love for the game has certainly multiplied, never ever dwindling. Come basketball season, my close male friends (most of my female friends are not into bball) know what to do to irk me, and it is none other than dissing my team, uttering an incorrect analysis of a game in my own opinion, having the nerve to tell me that my beloved team barely won a game (even if they won fair and square :P *Hint Hint: I.E*) etc. So yeah, I am declaring it now, come October, (yes I know, even as early as preseason), my love for the GAME might be "evident" in my blog postings.

My allegiance as a fan lies with the Detroit Pistons, now and always. Most guys don't even know how serious I am until I start talking about exact statistics. Trust me on this one, I do NOT play. I have been known to spend hours on ESPN.com calculating turnover ratios and investigating precedents in NBA history.

I love this game, I really do. A question I get asked a lot in jest, is "Why do you like the Pistons? Is it because you went to school in Michigan, and they won the championship in 2004?" The answer to that is a huge NO. I have been a fan of the Pistons for as long as I can remember, even before the years of Grant Hill, Rodman and the rest.

Over the years, the Detroit Pistons have evolved. From the Bad Boys when they won back-to-back championships, to the current day Detroit Pistons. I have laughed at their ups, and yes, I have even cried at their downs.

Some critics say, their game is no fun. Guess what, that's because they get the job done, as a blue collar team. A TEAM that works together, a team that has not degenerated into the one or two-man show exhibited by most glitzy NBA teams today. I appreciate talent when I see it in individuals, but we are talking about a team now, not so? And the Pistons is just that: an excellent embodiment of team work.

Last season's run was terrific! I mean look at it, 64 wins, and only 8 losses. More offense was built into their game, courtesy of new coach Flip Saunders. 4 starters were selected by coaches league-wide to participate in the NBA All-Star Game. They made history, because it never happened before in the NBA.

Top seed in the NBA league, but at the end of the day when it mattered most, we could not execute. So needless to say, we failed. Why?

Stay tuned for more...
Peace and luv :-)

2006-09-25T10:41:00.000-07:00

Getting Right with Others

I have been thinking about my past. You know reminiscing about old times, old places, and old friends. I conclude that in no small manner, did some friends and situations help to color and actually shape my perspective on my world-view and opinions on various issues.

Thinking along the same lines, I ponder on how certain friends end up outgrowing each other. Perhaps through the pursuit of wildly different lifestyles that the ultimate end of their friendship is ever-imminent. Things happen, and we do grow up. I am not talking about the friendships that consisted of girls nights out every weekend. Those will inevitably dwindle when careers place all on different paths in different cities. Focuses shift, and although you would really like to stay in touch, it's becoming a lot harder. Throw in the time difference factor again...as much as 3 hours depending on what city you live in, and it's even worse. While these are all legitimate issues in their own right, I am talking about the cease in friendship that should never even have happened.

The ones where pride and ego became the ultimate decision maker, and foolishly so. I refer to the grudges and malice-keeping when you don't even remember why you're no longer on speaking terms with said-person. The older I get and the more I reflect, the sillier I think it is. How unnecessary, and believe me, if I could re-write certain pages with certain people, I probably would. However, I am now firmly esconced in the reality of learning from past mistakes and moving on to become a better person.

So, I am on a mission to reach out to all these old friends of mine. I may not remember whose fault it was anymore for our grievances, and the damage has undoubtedly already been done. I know we will probably never be best of friends, and perhaps not even close, but finding inner peace within is something that can't be substituted. The feeling of relief gotten when you do the right thing. I will ask for most importantly forgiveness, perhaps even reconciliation. I want to extend the olive branch, and sleep better at night knowing I did, regardless of the outcome.

I don't know about you but I have work to do. It's all about getting right.

Peace and Luv :)

2006-09-22T12:27:00.000-07:00

Presenting the Launch of DORM MOM : Putting A PLUG in for My Friend.

I know it's been a hot minute since I last posted a blog entry. This past week has been really busy at work for me but I hope everyone is doing great.

At this point, I am sooo looking forward to the weekend.

I really wanted to make sure that I put in a plug for one of my boys, *E*. We went to college together, and he's one of the most hardworking and intelligent men that I know. In fact, he comes to mind as one of the people most likely to "make it on all levels" in his graduating class. .

You need to know this brother to truly appreciate his strong work ethic and struggles that he has had to overcome. He lost his father at a young age, and he had to singlehandedly sponsor his trip to America (and his education). He is still the breadwinner of his mother and siblings back home.

*E* was nothing short of a role model for me in college, when I struggled as a 16 year old trying to find my place in this strange country while I was thousands of miles away from home. *E* is the only person I know (and I do know quite a few), who was already guaranteed a full-time position after graduation, just as a sophomore!!! (Go figure....). He is that good. He not only maintained his place on the Dean's List throughout his college career (including 4.0 GPAs) while taking maximum credits and working the max. allowed hours (and then some...) for international students (20 hours/week).

*E* is currently an Advanced Control Systems Engineer at Praxair , and he lives in the upstate NY area. He has just opened up a business, Dorm Mom , and it is a really interesting idea which I would like to share.
Please do take a minute to visit his website.

E's business caters to mostly upscale universities with college kids who want someone else to do their chores like cleaning, grocery shopping and the works...

Please y'all spread the word and help a Naija brother make it happen!!!

Peace and Luv :-)

2006-09-18T11:41:00.000-07:00

Investing Cross-Roads

It seems like just yesterday when I felt that, scratch that, I KNEW that investing was not even in my vocabulary. I mean c’mon now, here I was working 2 minimum wage paying (read $5.25/hr) menial jobs just to pay rent and put food on the table, while I went to school full time. I was basically the human rendition of living from “paycheck to paycheck”. The only time I would have a 4 or 5 figure balance in my account would be during the highly paid summer internships, but that balance would of course dwindle substantially when school resumed in the fall, after paying the ridiculous international student rates.

Thankfully, all that is “water under the bridge” and I don’t have any more of those college nightmares. You know the ones you have while praying that no one suddenly remembers to cash the check you gave them for your share of the cab ride/food before your pay gets deposited.

However, like many of my fellow Engineering peers, our “curriculum” also left us with little to no knowledge of the basic principles of investing. That is unless, you actually took the initative to actually learn about these things.

After graduating, I realized that I had to improve my situation by becoming more financially knowledgeable, so I decided to consider all my options.

Context of Situation: I spend about 38% of what I earn monthly, which is a pretty good scenario per financial planning guidelines. Till recently, I felt having a dedicated savings account and 401k was the way to go.

I realized after a short while that the measly interest rate I was getting monthly, was just not going to cut it. So I had to quickly get my act together by exploring more profitable options that would yield higher interest/save more money.

Investment Options

1)401K Plan: I am maxed out here to my employers max. 6% matching percentage and still contemplating whether to increase it even above that. Using financial forecasters, I found out that even increasing my contribution by just 1% would increase my total investments by about $520,000 over the next 25 years! Well “over the next 25 years”, that’s the key word…I’m not sure if I want to “suffer” now and enjoy when I’m a 60 year old millionaire with no teeth to even chew on!

2) Roth IRA: tax-deferred

3) Real Estate investing: This seems to be the safest or as my people call it, a ”sure-banker” investment. I just bought a newly constructed property. Everything looks good on this front, because since it’s newly built, the sale value has appreciated considerably over purchase price! Depending on my situation over the years, looking into purchasing additional rental properties could be a good investment scenario.

4) Working on a pet business idea: Still in the works

5) Trading in stocks myself: Based on my relatively young age, my financial planner and I have decided that I am better positioned to hold a target asset mix of 80% Stocks and 20% bonds. At this age, I can handle the risk a lot better; I’m also not planning to withdraw from long-term investments for at least the next 28 years. In order to achieve maximum results, I have diversified my portfolio into international and domestic markets, ranging from passive markets to more aggressive stocks. Over the long run, my portfolio will lose money in the first couple of years, but it will also probably gain more over the long period of time than if I only invested in the US Treasury bond rate which as of today is about 4.8%

6) Exercising my stock/stock options somewhere along the line: Hopefully the company keeps doing great, so I can exercise some stock and get paid!!! Not trying to put all my eggs in one basket though....

7) Mutual Funds…

8) Investing in your kids/future kids education fund...there are different ways to do this including an Independent 529 account.

8) Strive to always maintain a zero balance on credit card(s), as this is a huge money saver.

9) Build up or maintain (whatever the case may be), an EXCELLENT (not good) credit score. This opens investment doors everywhere in America....

And the list goes on and on…

I’ll keep you all updated as I foray my way through this challenging world of financial economics where there is not one correct answer, and every advice you get is subject to the omnipresent disclaimer that “this financial prediction is based on past behavior, and is therefore not a guarantee of future performance”

Get interesting money management tips from
Lynette Khalfani (aka The Money Coach). She managed to not only pay off her $100,000 credit card debt, but also became a millionaire in the process.

Peace and Luv :)

2006-09-13T05:22:00.000-07:00

It's Hump Day!!!!

Boy, I really can't wait to get back to the comfort of my own bed. I haven't even slept in my new house yet, because I have been flying around for work over the past week. These hotel beds are killing me softly jare.

To think that there was a period in time, when I envied people that got to travel a lot for work. I think it was my "bush-girl" mentality at the time of "Yee...sleeping in HOTEL everyday"...lol.

So while I do enjoy traveling for work, there are times that I really would like to stay home.
Especially with all the gels and aerosol/liquids wahala, traveling has become that much more stressful now, even for business travel. When I packed all my stuff, I really felt that I'd thought of everything that could be "contraband". I wondered about perfumes so I even called my friend who flies a lot for work to ask about it. He told me he just sprayed his cologne on the clothes that he was going to wear (so I followed his "resourceful" example and did just that..lol).

Alas it was not enough! Upon getting to the security checkpoint, na so so the yeye detector at Sea-Tac begin dey bleep like say tommorow no go come again.
So my carry-on had to be subject to a special search. End result was that I had to throw away my Vaseline because I did not want to check in my luggage due to work logistics sha.

So my work is going on well, and I am looking forward to getting back to Seattle by tommorow. I also miss my boo.

Have a good day everyone.

Peace and Luv

2006-09-11T10:10:00.000-07:00

9/11...Five Years Later

I have been really busy with moving, and traveling in the Mid-West/East Coast for work. But I just had to take some time out to write a little bit today, on the 5th year anniversary of 9/11.

May the lives of those who died in one of man's greater inhumanities to man never go uncelebrated. May their deaths serve as a timeless lesson in humanity and peace to those of us that remain. May those they left behind find solace, comfort and peace.

May we all learn that when we hate each other, we lose our sense of togetherness. A sense of purpose for our fellow man. A fundamental nature of forgiveness and giving. One without which, we are really no different from beasts. When we lose our sense of togetherness and self-affirmation, we lose that which is greater than the superficial things we chase daily, we lose our sense of self.

May God bless the world, and give those of us that remain the sense of purpose to stand firmly by justice, the purpose of mind to fight for what is right, even when it is not easy.

Peace and Luv

2006-09-07T15:14:00.000-07:00

Home Closing Blues....

This is where "the less you know, the better it is" my people. So please join me on a flashback to yesterday.

At this point, it's less than 24 hours to closing. The escrow company calls me to tell me that by the way, I need to bring my Driver's License and Visa to closing because the lender's note indicates that.

I quickly think to myself; Drivers License...sure, not a problem. At least not technically, although by now I really should have changed from a MI license to WA license, since I live here permanently now.

On to the Visa requirement...that's where it got tricky as my mind raced and did many flip flops and somersaults. First of all, my H-1B visa has not yet kicked in, (H-1B status is only official at the beginning of the "government" fiscal year which is October 1st), so I am still on F-1 status.

I quickly called some of my homeowner international friends, who told me how the lenders ALL wanted at least the H-1B stamp. The recurring sentiment was that the OPT EAD would just not cut it.

So at this point, I'm thinking about all my thousands of dollars in non-refundable deposits that would be going down the drain. My mind is already calculating how to pin it on the lender by saying they never specified any visa requirement to me. That should be easy I think, afterall they work directly with my company's relocation firm and my relocation specialist is well-versed in all the legal jargon. At least she better be for me to ever get my various monies back.

Anyway, I decide to call the lender to see if I could determine what exact visa documentation they wanted. Was it to prove that I was legally employed, and so it would be the Employment Authorization Document (EAD) card? Or was it the I-94 Departure card, that would show that I came in through legal Immigration Control (not via illegal "sea vessels" from Mexico)? Or is it my long-expired F-1 entry visa stamp which I never renewed after the second time, since I hadn't gone back home.

My loan guy had no clue about the differences...he said "Oh, I think the passport entry stamp should be fine". Of course anyone who knows their stuff in immigration speak realizes that to maintain F1 status as a student, your visa really does not need to be current. You are in status as long as you're enrolled full-time at least 2 academic semesters a year (summer is optional). The Visa stamp is just for entry purposes, and really doesn't prove whether or not you're in status, can be employed or not. Anyway, homeboy had no clue what I was talking about.

Then set in my nervousness and feelings of dread. Yours truly had packed up most of her things, hired movers for Friday and was ready to move into my new home. Would I have to unpack everything again because the paperwork I had was not the one that was required. Little surprise that I didn't sleep well last night.

So my signing appointment was at 8 am at the Escrow Company, I got there bright and early. Signing went pretty quickly, in about 25 mins or so. The escrow officer informed me that my loan had NO contingencies, I was all approved. She didn't even ask for the visa, but I volunteered my passport anyway so she could make copies. She told me that as soon as the lender wired the money, and the county recorded the numbers, I would have officially CLOSED and would get a call. I manage a smile like Sure.

It's about 9 am now and I head to work, and can't really concentrate. All the scary thoughts of why they might suddenly change their mind pervaded my thoughts.

Anyway, It all turned out to be unfounded. The bank wired the money in less than an hour. What ended up wasting time was getting recording numbers from the county, because they were back-logged!!!

Eyin Eyan e ba mi ke Hallelluyah Meje! Hallelluyah!!!!Hallelluyah!!!Hallelluyah!!!Hallelluyah!!!!!!!!!Hallelluyah!!!!Hallelluyah!!!!Hallelluyah!!!! (Translation: My people help me shout 7 hearty Hallelluyahs)

So I closed today and I officially own my home now!

God is good, all the time....

2006-09-01T13:47:00.000-07:00

Windows Vista Speech Recognition goes Bananas

Oops, the geek in me could not resist posting this infamously notorious gaffe by my former employer, Microsoft. Hopefully my fellow dotnet junkies will see the humor in this. Let's just say it is quite interesting to say the very least...lol

So they've gone back to the drawing board. Here's a demo that actually works now from SpeechTek in NYC, thank Goodness.

Indian Traffic Commotion

2006-09-01T13:33:00.000-07:00


My Goodness! Traffic in India...nawa o! IMHO, this is actually even worse looking than traffic in Lagos...i thought we were worse. What do you guys think? :P

Happy Labor Day Holiday to Everyone!!! Enjoy the long weekend, have fun and most importantly PLEASE BE SAFE :)

2006-08-31T20:50:00.000-07:00

One of my Favorite Artists from Kinshasa, Congo...KAYSHA!

Over the years at college and mingling with many other African students, I got hooked on the soukous/ndombolo/coupe decale/makossa type of music. I wanted to share one of the very first songs I fell in love with.

"Ladies and Gentlemen...Here's Mr. Kaysha with "On dit quoi"

2006-08-31T13:05:00.000-07:00

Light at the End of the Tunnel: My Journey To Homeownership...

I've been in the midst of purchasing a new property for over 3 months now, so I have been eagerly counting the days to my move-in date.

Ever since I got the go-ahead from the builder, I had been faithfully showing up at the construction site every weekend. I have watched "her" grow from a pile of rubble, stone and concrete into a completely finished structure. A place that come next week, I will call home.

My baby has come to life, slowly but surely.

It’s been even more exciting for me because it was built from ground up, and I got to choose all the fixtures and select my own lay-outs, while watching the construction workers shape it all into reality.

At the beginning of this journey, I was so frazzled because I knew next to nothing about all the real estate terms. All I knew was that a lot of these "shady" mortgage companies were trying to lure me into applying with them. I was attractive bait I suppose. Fresh out of college with relatively little-no debt, and with more money than I knew what to do with. At least that’s what it looked like on paper, to them.

My first loan pre-approval at a reputable mortgage lending company (left unnamed) initially started out quite stilted. I assume the banker must have observed that I had an accent, which coupled with my age, was probably a little too much for him to comprehend. So he’s sitting there with a weird expression that he quickly tries to conceal, and I’m thinking he was probably wondering why this “girl” was here to waste his precious time.

Anyway, the processing went through like clock-work after my FICO Credit Score came up in the 700’s, and I was told I had a debt-to-income ratio of less than 8%, which in the previously unfriendly banker’s terms was "phenomenal"!

I gave him the "blank look" like Sure. I was just relieved that whatever the magic figure was in "mortgage world", it sounded like mine was good to go.

We now got to the portion of the meeting where he asked what purchase price I was interested in. I didn’t really know what the authoritative prices in the Seattle area was then. I knew that in Michigan where I was moving from, $200,000 would get you a nice, big 4-5 bedroom house in the suburbs. Same thing went for the Florida market which I was more familiar with, and in the Southh.

Of course as I was later to discover, let's just say that in Seattle, you might manage to get a 3 bedroom town home with a shared wall, about 2 hours away from Seattle or a 1 bedroom condo built in 1850 with crazy assessments coming up, it's just not worth it!

(Ok...maybe I'm exaggerating a tad bit, but anyway you still get the message)

Since I didn’t yet know the price ranges, he decided to check on his computer anyway to see what maximum purchase price I would qualify for based on my income, stocks, and other asset information. He then proceeded to sputter off an ungodly mortgage pre-approval purchase price.

It was just way too high that although I didn’t even know authoritatively what homes went for in the Seattle area, I just knew that I was uncomfortable handling that kind of liability. My initial facial expression of “Hell No! No way am I getting suckered into buying a $850,000 home!” must have registered in the banker’s brain. Because he quickly responded, saying that “But Ms. “Omo Ibadan”, per our financial predictors, your income is going to increase exponentially over the next few years and you are well-positioned to make good on your payments.”

The Nigerian that I am (lol), I proceed to look him straight in the eye incredulously thinking, “And so what!!! No be only exponentially, na tangentially multiplied by linear combined salary increase!!! Does this guy really think that all I want to work for is to pay off a home.”

Lesson In Point: Do not get in over your head based on what these bankers tell you that you can afford. You'll end up not only overstretching yourself meaninglessly, but potentially ruining your credit. I'll explore this topic further in another post. A good guide to first time home buyers is linked HERE.

I just went ahead and told him point-blank that I just was NOT interested in the maximum purchase price that I qualified for. Plain and simple. Never mind that barely 20 minutes earlier, he was probably thinking my presence in his office was a waste of his time since I could not possibly be qualified to afford buying a home.

Anyway, here I was. Now armed with a decent interest rate, ample purchasing power that was “low” enough that I felt comfortable about (most importantly), and a loan pre-approval letter to brandish to the sellers.

Time had come to start scouring the treacherous real estate market. Oh but wait, I still needed a realtor.

So Big Daddy Google became my best friend in my quest for knowledge. I learnt all about the different kinds of mortgages (the pros and cons of fixed rate vs. ARMs), commissions, underwriters, Points (when it's actually cheaper to pay points), closing costs, inspections, appraisals, MLS listings, HUD statements, property taxes, loan origination fee scams, qualifying for mortgages, credit scores, escrow, earnest deposits, title search, real estate agents, etc… (I will be posting a sequel to this blog entry with all the helpful links that were useful to me in foraging through the real estate market)

Boy, was it a long learning process…

Now Fast Forward to Present

6 Good Faith Estimates (GFE's) and 3 Realtors later. It has all been worth it though. My place is finally completed. Now it's just being cleaned up. My granite countertops and cherry cabinets, which were the final items on the to-do list, were put in late last week. The loan papers have all been processed and I'll receive the final HUD statement tommorow, now that the appraisal has been completed (it came in significantly higher than purchase price, so I really couldn't be any happier about that).

Next Tuesday, I will go on the buyer walk-through and make sure everything looks perfect…ha ha ha! (Like I really haven’t been monitoring it all every step of the way)

Come next Thursday, I will be signing the papers to my first home, paid for by my own sweat and God's many blessings in my life.

At the “ripe” age of 21 years old, I am proud to say that I now own my own home.

It is a good feeling.
Peace and Luv

P.S: The readers of my blog will recall that I posted an entry a while ago, about maintaining one’s fitness levels without stressing untowardly about weight. So for the past week or thereabouts, I have tried to incorporate a cut down on my “junk food” intake. I also exercised twice this week by taking long walks (~ 3 miles) after work. I noticed around Tuesday, that some of my work pants that I could previously pull off without wearing a belt now needed to be held up. I don’t know how this is happening, but between Tuesday and Wednesday, I lost 2 pounds already. In total, per the scales, I have lost about 5 pounds in the last 1 week!

2006-08-29T10:58:00.000-07:00

The Good Old Days...!!!

Throughout my college years, I worked as a Reporter for the school newspaper. Because of this, I had the opportunity to hold numerous one-on-one interviews with the many celebrities that came to perform regularly at my school's world-class performance art theatre. Some of the celebrities/groups I got to interview include Lagbaja (from Nigeria), Sarakasi (the first Authentic African acrobatic circus), Nappy Roots (multi-platinum recording label group), among others.

Since I'm gearing up to move soon, a lot of my things are in storage. So as soon as I'm settled, over the next couple of weeks, I'll be posting up some of my most interesting celeb interviews that are tucked away in one of my storage piles.

Do stay tuned for my new "Interview Series". It should be interesting.

Have a great week :)
Peace and Luv

Below is an article that I wrote 3 years ago after Lagbaja's performance at my school

Issue for April 9, 2003

Nigerian band jams at Rozsa

By: *Omo Ibadan*, Senior Staff Writer

The stage had been set, arrangements made, the event long publicized, tickets purchased well in advance, the performance eagerly awaited. The day most had been waiting for finally came last week Friday, April 4, 2003, as Lagbaja stormed the Rozsa in full force all the way from the city of Lagos, Nigeria. The story still on everyone's lips is the beautiful performance by the Nigerian performer, Lagbaja, that took place on Thursday( for World Cultures students) and Friday (general public) in *D University's* Rozsa Center for the Performing Arts.

The masked Yoruba musician first burst onto the local Nigerian scene in 1993 and his powerful messages were delivered essentially through the words of his songs and masked face. This absence of a personality to exactly pinpoint, forces his audience, consciously or subconsciously, to focus more on his message, giving the words greater power. His fame increased as he grew to become a household name in Nigeria and emerged on the international scene in 1995.

The show finally kicked off at about 8:10 p.m with Lagbaja dressed in woven black and silver Aso-Oke material, coming toward the stage from the back of the hall to the delight of the expectant crowd. His elaborate costumes also portray the ancient traditions of Yoruba Egungun (ancestral) masquerades and moko jumbies. Among the most sacred and ancient of Yoruba traditions are the sacred Bata (conical double headed drums) drumming and Egungun (ancestral) masquerades. Since the time of the legendary Yoruba Kingdom of Oyo, Bata Drums and festival masquerades have fulfilled a central role in the religious and cultural lives of the Yoruba people. Pieces of Yoruba arts and religion can be found throughout the Americas, where they migrated along with the slave trade and dispersed wherever Africans were taken to. Cuba, the Caribbean, Haiti & and the United States have all shared in the Yoruba traditions, along with seminal new world religions like Candomble in Brazil to name a few.

The audience was taken directly to the root of all music form, straight back to Africa. In Nigerian culture, it is customary to greet almost everyone you meet regardless of whether you know them or not. Therefore, the show was begun Nigerian style by giving thanks to God and greeting everyone present. The band members started out pounding highly infectious rhythmical grooves on their drums so that one couldn't help but move to the beats. The band further held the audience spellbound with haunting harmonies and electrifying dance moves that were, simply put, out of this world. Their music incorporated a vast assortment of pounding drums, bass guitars, guitars, saxophone, keyboards and other musical instruments. The band featured all the various drum families, including the West African conga, the sacred bata drum, dundun, akuba, shekere (rattles) among many others, all blended together to deliver unique and soulful grooves that left the audience enthralled. As they belted out song after song, the crowd kept screaming for more.

Into the show, "Africalypso", a tribute to all black people about the African forefathers who were brought to America during the slave trade, was skillfully performed. The song contained lyrics such as, "...You can enslave the body but not the spirit. So wherever the music moves the spirit, wherever the music is hip, behind it you'll find the African." This song celebrated the simple truth that, in spite of all the tribulations blacks have been through, they still retained a huge part of their heritage; the rhythmic music and love for beats and music in general.

Tech Electrical Engineering major *K.M* said, "Lagbaja's performance was excellent, he took it straight back home! It definitely reminded me of the music that we play back home in the Virgin Islands called Calypso and Soca, with its smooth rhythms and lyrics regarding political issues, relationships, etc. with a sense of humor. I couldn't help but get up out of my seat and dance to the sweet grooves. Lagbaja also clearly stated an important fact that the well-known music and dance forms we are familiar with today all stem from the motherland, Africa."
Lagbaja exhibited his remarkable mastery of the tenor saxophone as he played song after song tirelessly to the awe of the audience. This wonder on the saxophone gave a whole new meaning to the word unique, with his style of delivery that couldn't help but leave listeners gaping. There was a ten minute interlude for the audience to stretch and buy Lagbaja's works.

The second half of the show had all the dancers in the audience up on their feet in a mad frenzy as he taught some smooth dance steps to the delight of those gathered.

CS undergrad, *JM-N* said, "Lagbaja took the audience to the deep roots of the beautiful Yoruba grooves, effectively mixing modern and traditional instruments to give a sound that, simply put, just blew my mind away." The show came to an end with the introduction of all the instrumentalists, but the audience yelled for more and the performers did not disappoint the crowd. They came back on stage for about 10 minutes more to further regale the audience with their beautiful music. It was an incredibly entertaining night, one that will remain etched on the minds of everyone that was present for a long time to come. Valerie Pegg, director of Great Events at The Rozsa said, "I think it's important on a university campus to include at least one world music show each season. For many members of our audience it is often a new and exciting experience, one that shows us an important aspect of a different culture. Lagbaja's concert totally lived up to my expectations, and I felt well rewarded at the terrific response from the audience".

Eclectic, unique, groovy, dynamic, soul-rousing, original, Lagbaja portrays just a tip of the rich culture that makes Nigeria such a dynamic country.

2006-08-27T05:04:00.000-07:00

"Stay Hungry, Stay Foolish..."

This has been circulating around the web for a while now, and it's been such a great inspiration to me since I first read it. I wanted to share it on here in case it could be an inspiration to someone else, just like it was to me. It's the commencement speech delivered by Steve Jobs (Apple CEO) at the June 12, 2005 commencement ceremony at Stanford University.

I like it sooo much because the message in the address is still applicable regardless of what stage in your career you're in. Whether you're a rookie, fresh from school like me; a mid-level career professional or even a seasoned industry veteran. It's still a fundamental call to us all, to never neglect our "inner daredevil"...that thing within us that spurs us on to achieving those things that logic cautions us against.

I reflect back and I realize that most of the ventures that I've ever embarked on that ended up being successful, was never so because I did what was expected of me. Many times, it involved really "taking the heat" from all who thought the actions to be unusual, and perhaps too liberal. I even doubted myself sometimes, wondering if I could pull it off. The end results...some times it failed, most times it worked in far better ways than I had even imagined.

The part of the address that I personally found very inspirational is this excerpt below:

"No one wants to die. Even people who want to go to heaven don't want to die to get there. And yet death is the destination we all share. No one has ever escaped it. And that is as it should be, because Death is very likely the single best invention of Life. It is Life's change agent. It clears out the old to make way for the new. Right now the new is you, but someday not too long from now, you will gradually become the old and be cleared away. Sorry to be so dramatic, but it is quite true.

Your time is limited, so don't waste it living someone else's life. Don't be trapped by dogma — which is living with the results of other people's thinking. Don't let the noise of others' opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary.

When I was young, there was an amazing publication called The Whole Earth Catalog, which was one of the bibles of my generation. It was created by a fellow named Stewart Brand not far from here in Menlo Park, and he brought it to life with his poetic touch. This was in the late 1960's, before personal computers and desktop publishing, so it was all made with typewriters, scissors, and polaroid cameras. It was sort of like Google in paperback form, 35 years before Google came along: it was idealistic, and overflowing with neat tools and great notions.

Stewart and his team put out several issues of The Whole Earth Catalog, and then when it had run its course, they put out a final issue. It was the mid-1970s, and I was your age. On the back cover of their final issue was a photograph of an early morning country road, the kind you might find yourself hitchhiking on if you were so adventurous. Beneath it were the words: "Stay Hungry. Stay Foolish." It was their farewell message as they signed off. Stay Hungry. Stay Foolish. And I have always wished that for myself. And now, as you graduate to begin anew, I wish that for you".

That's why I always remind myself never to become complacent. "You can't afford to rest on your oars", I tell myself as I look in the mirror daily. There's always something to improve, new challenges to explore, old challenges to conquer, new ways to get even better. Try to do something unique this week, something you wouldn't normally dare to do! I already know what I'm going to do :)

Let's keep the momentum going on in the spirit of staying hungry and foolish.

Peace and Luv

2006-08-25T11:30:00.000-07:00

IT'S THAT TIME OF THE YEAR...

SETTING MY DEVELOPMENT PLAN/OBJECTIVES FOR THE NEXT YEAR AS AN INDUSTRY ROOKIE

So, I really absolutely love my current position and the company I work for. I enjoy going to work daily. I am increasingly aware that I'm genuinely fascinated about learning all the new processes/business systems. I like working on devices that save lives, coupled with the pleasant reality that we really do live by our mission.

My company's dedication to our mission is quite contrary to some of the places where I previously worked. The M.O. at these "corporations", which we will leave unnamed until a future date, seemed to be more concerned with the politics of maintaining appearances to the shareholders, and ordering all employees to develop competencies such as "Integrity" (oops my bad)..when the inner workings of the upper echelon was indeed even worse than Enron! Since I'm relatively new to this industry, my management/co-workers have all been very supporting through my still ongoing learning process. Time does fly though because I still remember my first day at work and my initial cluelessness, but I celebrated my 3 months anniversary yesterday :)

With all of that going on, today is my scheduled day to meet with my manager to discuss what career moves I'm interested in pursuing in the near future. This has of course been on mind for at least the past couple of weeks, but I'm still unsure about certain things. I find that the answers to a lot of the questions posed in the development plan are not really ones that I have clear-cut answers to yet. In fact, it seems like I have even more questions than answers at this point. I do know that I need to become more comfortable and develop in my new role, while learning the company processes in-depth before I try to switch roles/career paths. Because I'm new to this particular industry, what I'm at least sure of is that my interests are probably going to change in the next 12 months.

In the broader picture though, I still need to answer the question pertaining to here and now, at this company, i.e. What do I want to be when I "grow up", as they say?

Pray for me people.

2006-08-23T11:02:00.000-07:00

Phat Girlz (aka Pretty Hot And Thick), or as society terms it FAT

I had wanted to go see Phat Girlz when it initially came out in the theatres, but thanks to the location of my school (stuck way up there in the boondocks), it never did come to our small theatre. So here I was looking forward to the DVD version all summer, and it finally came out on DVD yesterday. I had been looking forward to seeing the movie since there were some Nigerians representing in the movie, as well as some Yoruba (my native language) being spoken. Monique usually gives pretty good laughs, so I knew that the movie would at least be somewhat funny. I was still cautious though, thinking that the movie could end up being like one of those tacky, archetypal and stereotypical so-called “black flicks” (READ, Soul Plane) just booming with exaggerated themes and God knows what else.

Anyway, I ended up really enjoying the movie and IMHO, it did touch on many relevant issues concerning healthy body images/self esteem.I caught myself smiling for Stacey (Monique’s full-figured sidekick) in the movie, during her conversation with Akibo (Godfrey) on their walk back to the hotel in the movie. Essentially Akibo (Godfrey) asked why with such a nice full-figure as she had, she chose to always cover it up with baggy and unflattering clothes. She replied saying something to the effect that because of how big she was, she had no business showing any skin. Akibo (Godfrey) smiled and replied that, “If it was left to me to decide, you would be naked all the time”. I was ecstatic for her, not because of the sexual connotations implied but simply because that statement turned out to be the spark that she needed to personally assert to herself that she was an attractive woman, size or no size.

Is it really true that Nigerian men prefer full-figured women as was portrayed in the movie? While it could be argued that it’s an overt generalization since the appreciation of a woman’s physical appearance by men is subject to personal preference. This will of course vary across different men. I think back home, for the most part, a “thicker” looking body is definitely considered more acceptable than here in America. Some tribes actually undergo a fattening period for wives to be. In the TV shows, magazines and everything else that I watch in the media, the ideal standard of beauty in America seems to be under a size 4 or whatever seems to be the current fad that day. That is definitely not the standard of beauty in Nigeria. A little padding here and there is actually more appreciated.

As a full-figured woman, I found the movie to be quite reflective of what I sometimes struggle with. The never-ending quest to find jeans that actually fit my waist and hips without having to make alterations. Or settling on jeans that fit my hips, and having to use an "industrial-size belt" to keep the pants from falling down because the waistline is disproportionate. Always having to make a bee-line for the “special sections” at the back of the stores in the mall where Apple bottoms and other designs for full-figured women are stored. My sadness and sometimes annoyance, when the fashions sometimes available in my size look at best as the irate shopper in the movie described it, “like my living room-set” (pretty bland and unimaginative for clothing). The sinking feelings that I can’t ever compete with the skinny girls.

Through this, I have recently come to the realization that I don’t even need to compete. I just need to live my life unfettered by American society’s standards of what’s beautiful or not, realizing that I will never have a size 4 body. Instead of channeling my energy wrongly, I need to focus on keeping my body healthy and fit. At the end of the day, if I maintain a regular exercise regimen to keep fit and lose some weight in the process, that’s ok. But, I will not be constantly obsessed with trying to fit into clothes that were never designed for my body type in the first place.

I hope that younger girls, who struggle with body-image issues, fat and skinny alike, can realize that inner happiness should not be determined by one’s clothing size. In fact, research shows that most patients that underwent surgery to lose weight stated happiness as the top reason for undergoing the invasive procedures to lose weight. After they attained their “ideal weight/size”, most of the subjects studied still struggled with unhealthy body images.

Key Point: You have to love yourself first and be happy with what’s inside. Even if you change your physical appearance, if everything is not right within you, nothing is changed! The low self-esteem which is so destructive to being happy will still be present.

In the movie, it took the love of the men in their lives to assert the women’s confidence and make them feel desirable and loved. Perhaps, we can attempt to take that even just a teeny step further. By being personally assertive about our body images, so that with or without someone there to re-affirm our beauty/attractiveness, we will still maintain a healthy body image and always retain our self-confidence.

Peace and Love.

2006-08-21T11:36:00.000-07:00

"IT WAS TOO EARLY FOR YOU..."

Those were the words my friend *I.E* muttered when two of us, and one of our other friends were all chatting at the dinner table at our "mini-reunion", about 2 months ago. We all attended the same college at one point in time, so it was a good way for us to catch up with each other, and pretty much sit around reminiscing about old times.

Anyway the context surrounding my friend's statement is as follows. I had recently moved to Seattle to start work full-time. Of course, I needed to buy a car to move around, right? I went around to different dealerships to figure out what I would buy that was within my budget. I eventually settled on buying a Mercedes C-Class Kompressor. Why? Because I LIKED it, and I could easily afford to buy it without stretching myself financially at all.

I have never been a person to buy anything because everyone had it. Neither am I in the category of people that are pre-occupied with maintaining "appearances", and who concern themselves with depicting a "false" have-it-all persona, when they're really struggling to make ends meet. I don't want/need to keep up with the Joneses. I am perfectly happy being me, and content with what I have, because I really don't have any grounds for complaining money-wise. At the same time, I believe that I do have a right to treat myself to the things that I like, within reason. For example, I like the Maybach but it would certainly not be a wise decision, by my reckoning, for me to buy one. I don't even think I'd ever buy one, just because a car rapidly depreciates in value, and I'd rather invest in something else when such a significant amount of money is concerned.

So that's why I was initially taken aback by *I.E*'s comment, wondering where that had came from. On the other hand, I've known him for about 4 years now so I just kinda shrugged it off. We went to the same university for a while, before he transfered to another college on the East Coast. We reunited again when I ended up interning at Microsoft last year, where he had started to work full-time. So anyway, I probed further, "How do you figure that?", I asked in bewilderment.

His response was to the effect that any man who meets me now will feel intimidated and therefore unwilling to approach me with any romantic propositions. He further explained that I would be more attractive to men who drove more expensive cars such as the Maybach. At this point, the jester in me is thinking well hell yeah, bring on the Maybach owners...(lol).

Ok, on a more serious note though, his contention was that interested guys/men would automatically deduce that because of the car I drove, that I just could not be single. That statement alone threw me off balance. Not because I had never heard similar schools of thought before, but I guess this time it hit closer to home, as they say. I stopped to think about it for a minute. I think we have a problem when a woman's car is considered indicative of whether she is single, married or otherwise committed. I sure do wish that I had those kind of powers to be able to identify attached/unattached men from the kind of say cell-phones/wristwatches/shoes they own :P What is also interesting to me about this is that my friend's views are probably reflective of other men's opinions on this issue, whatever the case may be.

I think car buying is a matter of choice and personal preference. For some people, their car is their number one priority. If they voluntarily choose to spend all their paycheck on buying a car, that's not financially wise from any perspective. But guess what, they ultimately have to live with that choice, not me, no matter how much I disagree with it.

Personally, I could have bought a more expensive car model if I wanted to, but I chose to stay within a certain range that I felt comfortable with. I had to consider the imminent expense of my home purchase, and how that would change things. I identified that buying a home was my number 1 financial priority. Everything else paled significantly to the costs of homeownership. However, I knew that I wanted a car that I liked driving. A car that would be reliable, for the most part. I also wanted a car with extended manufacturer's warranty as well as a car with a good resale value over the years, when it eventually became time to sell it.

Going back to my friend's statement, Does it really mean that in the supposedly "forward-facing times" that we live in today, everything a woman has worked for still has to be attributed to the success of a man, who undoubtedly had to have provided it for her.

*I.E* went on to "explain" to me that if a lady drives an "ok" car that does not look expensive, then any guy interested in her would feel comfortable approaching her. "Why?", I asked. He said, well because the guy would feel that since she's still struggling, he can therefore build something with her.

Don't get it twisted, I'm all for letting a man be a man. But, at the same time, I don't think a real man needs me to assume a "struggling" persona, before he has the courage to talk to me. In line with my friend's rationale, are we then saying that in order for a woman to proclaim her single status, she needs to make it a lesson in point to drive a "non-intimidating" car or hooptie, so that men can feel comfortable about approaching her?

Just some food for thought!

Peace and Luv

2006-08-18T09:05:00.000-07:00

The Masked Man from Nigeria "Lagbaja" and other things...

Yay!!! So I finally got around to creating a blog of my own after all the many months of procastinating, and thinking about what I would actually be writing about.

What inspired me to finally get my blog writing on was the amazing Lagbaja concert I attended last night at the Triple Door in Seattle. After the show, I just knew that I had to write about it somewhere. Never mind that I couldn't actually think of a more creative name for my blog. Heck, I just figured I'd get it done once and for all! So here I am finally, writing away in my very own blog. I had to literally drag myself out of bed this morning after what seemed like only few minutes of sleep. Anyway, it's Friday and the weekend is here so I really can't complain, right?

For those who don't know, Lagbaja in Yoruba literally means "Somebody, Everybody and nobody in particular". That encapsulates the essence of Lagbaja, he self-describes himself as the "man without a face for the people without voices". His music is distinct, yet jogs the mind to an old master of Afrobeat, world-renowned Fela Anikulapo Kuti. Lagbaja's self-dubbed "Africano" genre of music, is all about the different drum families that simultaneously resonate, creating a unique sound that just dares you not to listen. The political themes of Lagbaja's music are very evident, borne out of the oppression and tyranny unleashed on the people of Nigeria by our so-called corrupt leaders. It touches on issues like military dictatorship, but never fails to bring out the dancer in one, with nice fun beats like Konko Below and others.

See my journey with Lagbaja began when I was about 9. I have always been a lover of African rythmns, drum beats and music in general. I listened to "Baby ta ni ko fewa" and even at that young age, I was hooked! Imagine then how delighted I was when 3 years ago (as an undergrad), Lagbaja opened up his American tour in my school. I got to interview him one-on-one for over an hour, since I worked as a reporter for the school newspaper. I left that interview even more intrigued about the man behind the mask. He turned out to be extremely well-read, literate and well-spoken. (Side Note: I think there's just something beautiful about a man who can effortlessly hold his own in conversations that span different topics without seeming like he's trying to show off). He had a deep knowledge of the Yoruba culture, and I was really just impressed by the breadth of his knowlegde and his ability to articulate himself very concisely.

For me (and others I'm sure) there's something about being far away from home in a foreign land that makes me so hungry for things from back home. I mean, those same things that I hardly appreciated when they were right there at my beck and call. That's why when I heard Lagbaja was going to be in town, I immediately bought my ticket and started inviting others too with an unmatched frenzy! My friend, B and I, even got there hours before the show (I won't tell how many hours exactly, but go figure).

The show last night was magical, to put it simply. I felt so proud to be Nigerian last night, and the awareness that other nationalities were present to also witness a part of our rich culture delighted me to even greater lengths. How about the catcalls and hilarious comments in my native language, Yoruba, that were made by audience members throughout the show. There was an authentic "Tiwa n Tiwa" (For Us by Us) feel to the entire event. I for one, never even knew there were that many Nigerians representing in Seattle, until last night. The evening ended on a somewhat sour note for me, only because I didn't want it to end. Let's just say I had sweet dreams last night, although I got back home way past my bedtime, and I undoubtedly paid for it this morning :)

As my blog title already states (ding ding!), I am a Yoruba girl from Nigeria residing in America. I came to America when I was about 16 years old to pursue an Electrical Engineering degree. I graduated this year from my Michigan university and currently live in Seattle, WA where i now work full-time as an Engineer. I am extremely passionate about things that I care about and believe in. Every boss that I've ever worked for always expressed that I was/am very persistent. I really just never give up! It's that nature of hustling and never giving up until I achieve my goals, that has opened me up to opportunities that most deem impossible. On the flip side, I'm intrigued by all new advances in technology, art-work, reading, poetry, cooking and a million other random things. I also LOOOOOVE basketball (repping the Detroit Pistons all the way baby....). Hopefully when the season begins, I'll be able to resist the "irresistable" temptation of focusing solely on the delightful intricacies of that game that I just can't ever get enough of! (Note to Self: Omo Ibadan, be cool girl! You're gonna start scaring people away from your blog, don't want them thinking you're obsessed and stuff :P)

Moving forward, my blog will be centered around things and issues that motivate me and keep me going. You might find them to be sometimes random and quirky, but ultimately interesting. Issues covered here will range from my personal long-winded journey to finding fulfilment and a best fit through the vast terrain tagged Corporate America, the inevitable official nuances as seen through the eyes of a recent grad. Join me as I will share my experiences as an "international" intern in several multi-national corporations, my home-buying experience, good deals on home furnishing as I try to make my new home reflect my personality (we'll see about that :P), my relationships, cool things that I work on that I'm allowed to share (read: that do not violate the employee Non-Disclosure Agreement signed on my first day of employment), finances/investment best practices as I try to make my millions before I'm 30 (hmmm....we'll see about that, but whoever said dreaming was not allowed). I'll be sharing any cool ideas here as I learn about them, as well as all the random things that always cross my mind a million times a day that I think might be interesting, and maybe even helpful, to others.

My intent is to also share useful information on international student/immigration issues and helpful links from time to time, as well as job opportunities. I hope someone will benefit from my experiences in the corporate world and attending college here.

As always, your comments are welcome and appreciated.

Have a good day everyone :)

P.S: Like I mentioned earlier, I had met the band before when I interviewed Lagbaja 3 years ago. So some of the guys remembered me (They said they did! Really :P). I really don't think they'd ever forget their North American tour where the initial port of entry performance was located in what has to be one of the coldest places on Earth (my alma mater location in Michigan), with almost 30 inches of heavy snow, ice and sleet! At the end of the show last night, I went around exchanging greetings with everyone and one of the band members gave me a scrunched up piece of paper with their hotel information and his room number written on it. He asked me to come by so we could "talk" better. I almost did a double-take, wondering if he really thought that I was a groupie...lol. Oh well, I didn't go there to find out anyway. Guess that incident educated me on the price of being an enthusiastic fan or the connotations that are sometimes attached to that!

*Disclaimer: The opinions contained and expressed throughout all my blog postings are those of the author only. They are personal opinions, and should be treated as such. They are not authorized by any outside entities such as employers or any other institutions*